she had exams； and had redecorated his apartment in her favorite colors。 Maybe they could be together at some point in the future。 But not right now。
“Thank you；” she whispered。 It was funny。 For once in her life； the movie in her mind wasn’t playing。 She had no idea what her next line was or how she should exit。 She had no idea if any man was waiting in the wings。
Blair scraped her chair back and stood up。 She didn’t want to make a scene； but she was worried if she didn’t stand up and get out； she never would。 The last thing she wanted was to find herself in ten years having the same conversation about Hamptons homes with Chuck。
She felt tears beginning to well in her eyes。 “’Bye；” she said finally； running out before the deluge。
notes from around the world
Serena sat on the center of her bed in her childhood bedroom； hugging her knees to her chest。 She hadn’t moved since ing home from her coffee date turned breakup with Dan。 It was too exhausting to figure out what to do with herself。 She wanted to cry； to release all the confused feelings inside her； but she couldn’t。
She glanced from the white molding on the ceiling to the framed Breakfast at Fred’s poster over her antique bureau to the tiny silver Tiffany box on her night table。 The box housed all her baby teeth。 In high school； Nate loved shaking them out onto her white eyelet pillowcase； counting the teeth； and marveling at how tiny they were。
Serena sighed。 Dan had noticed the tiny box； but only to note that it was pretty。 He’d never asked what was in it。 It was sort of like their relationship—on the surface it seemed perfect； but they were both too afraid to really look at what was inside。
In a way； their breakup had felt inevitable。 When she was at Yale and he was at Columbia； they’d make plans for the next weekend or next break； but they’d never talked about the future。 And Serena never really wanted to move to Iowa。 It was just that she had no idea what she wanted to do。
Her eyes fell on the travel scrapbook Fiona had given her； sitting on her bureau。 She crossed the room and picked it up； flopping back down on her bed。 A familiar hum began to course through her body。
Wanderlust？
Serena stared out the window。 A snow flurry had begun； swirling feathery white flakes down Fifth Avenue and onto the treeless expanse of park across from her bedroom。 It was such a wonderfully familiar old view； one that she’d cherish forever。 But she could leave and it would still be there when she got back。 Serena’s heart beat excitedly。 A small smile formed on her lips。 For the first time in a long time； she knew exactly what she wanted to do。
And who she wants to do it with？
miss independent
Jenny ran up the steps of Nate’s stately； ivy…covered town house on Monday night； ready for their date。 She and Elise had gone out the past few nights； following Tyler to all of his DJ gigs around the city。 It was just so much fun to dress up and be ushered into a whole other world where music ruled； to dance until 4 a。m。； to shake her long hair until it got sweaty and tangled。
In the past； Jenny had never been one for clubbing—she’d been too young when she was living in the city； Waverly was out in the middle of nowhere； and in Providence she and Nate were often in bed by ten o’clock。 It wasn’t like there was anything else to do。 Sure； she had acquaintances from her classes with whom she attended student art shows； and Nate had a few sailing buddies； but neither of them had any real friends。 Reconnecting with Elise had reminded Jenny how important it was to have people around you who could make you snort Diet Coke out your nose； who could spend hours debating whether or not a Proenza Schouler dress for Target looked like the real thing； who could physically restrain you from making out with a cute young DJ。
Wait； what？
Jenny pressed the doorbell with a pink…polished finger。 She shifted her weight from one Frye boot to the other； wondering if Nate would be able to sense that she’d almost kissed Tyler。 Who knows if it actually would have happened。 But last night while they were dancing； he just looked so cute； with his hair flopping over his hazel eyes； his T…shirt just tight enough to show off his toned arms； lip…synching the lyrics of the song that was playing because he was so into it。 Just as Jenny had leaned in； Elise had grabbed her by the crook of the arm and yanked her out of the club and into a cab。
Jenny had felt relieved； but ever since； she’d found it impossible to get Tyler out of her head。 What would’ve happened if they had kissed？ And if it was just an innocent lean…in； then why did she feel so guilty？
“e up！” Nate yelled into the inter； interrupting Jenny’s reverie。
Jenny climbed the winding staircase toward Nate’s top…floor bedroom。 The town house always seemed spookily quiet whenever she walked in。
“Hi。” Jenny pushed open the heavy oak door。
“Hey！” Nate said from his corner desk； not looking up from his Mac Air。 He wore a pair of red flannel Ralph Lauren boxers and no shirt。 Jenny paused at the doorway。 Of course she didn’t mind seeing his abs； which looked as taut and tan in December as they did in July； but he wasn’t exactly dressed for dinner。
“Are you going to get ready soon？” She tugged at the frayed hem on the cute flapper…style dress she’d bought senior year at What Goes Around es Around； the vintage store in Rhinecliff。
Nate shrugged。 “I thought we’d just stay here and order in；” he said easily。 One of the things he loved most about Jenny was how easy she was to be around。 Back when he’d dated Blair； he’d sometimes felt like a cruise ship director； always having to e up with an activity to entertain her。 But Jenny was fine lying around in bed and eating Chinese food。
How romantic。
“Oh；” Jenny said； disappointed。 She sat on his bed； crossing her tiny legs。 The clock on his nightstand read eight twenty…one。 Suddenly； the evening seemed to loom endlessly in front of them。 “Are you sure？” Jenny asked； already knowing the answer。 Of course Nate wanted to stay in。 Just like always。 But Jenny was itching to go out； to do something。
“Yeah。” Nate sat down next to her and slipped her coat off her shoulders。 His fingers brushed underneath the skinny strap of her dress。 “All I need is you。” He leaned over to kiss her。
Jenny pulled away。 She didn’t want to just eat takeout in bed； like they did every night in Providence。 She wanted romance and intrigue and maybe a little bit of drama。 She wanted to yell over music until her voice hurt。
“I think…” Jenny trailed off and looked down at her tiny hands。
“What’s wrong； Meow？” Nate asked； his hand at the midthigh hem of her dress。
“I don’t think this is working；” Jenny said； gaining her voice as she went。 This wasn’t just about Tyler—not really； anyway。 There was a huge world out there； and Jenny needed to do more than eat spareribs in bed。
“What？” Nate blinked。 Was Jenny dumping him？ “But I love you； Jen；” he said； fumbling for words。
“I’ll always love you；” Jenny said softly。 It was true。 He’d always be the boy of her dreams； her Upper East Side prince。 She leaned in to give hi