female bartenders in cowboy hats。 The bartenders were also fond of line dancing across the
surface of the heavy wooden bar； dousing the crowd with water？or beer。 It wasn？t exactly
Vanessa？s kind of place； but it was the perfect location for Ruby？s bachelorette party。 Ruby
thought the bar； which had been made legendary in the totally watered…down film bearing its name；
was hilarious？in a totally ironic way； of course。
Of course。
The bar was packed with people； elbow to elbow； mainly drunken frat guys in pastel polo shirts
and loafers。 Three stunning female bartenders worked the crowd furiously； throwing bottles in the
air and knocking back shots along with the guys。 The screech of country music filled the room。
Vanessa stomped across the sawdust…covered floor in her black Prada platforms？Blair
cast…offs？and looked around。 Ruby was leaning against the wall wearing a short red dress and
bat boots； doing shots with a group of obviously intoxicated girls。 Vanessa walked up and
elbowed her sister in the ribs。
？Watch it！？ Ruby yelled； an annoyed look on her face。 ？Bitch；？ she muttered。
Vanessa grabbed her sister？s arm and leaned in closer。 ？Ruby； it？sme 。？ Ruby？s face went blank
with shock。 She reached up； touching the strands of long blond hair framing Vanessa？s face；
staring at her eyes； carefully outlined with brown pencil and expertly shadowed？courtesy of Ms。
Blair Cornelia Waldorf； of course？and promptly began laughing like a lunatic。
？Oh my God；？ she laughed； downing another shot of amber liquid； ？I reallyam wasted。？ As soon
as she drained the glass； shivering slightly as the liquor hit her chest； she grabbed Vanessa？s arms
again； looking her up and down and taking in the short black Anna Sui skirt and tight； beaded
charcoal gray Chlo？ corset top Blair had practically shoved into Vanessa？s messenger
bag。 ？Seriously； Vanessa； you look ridiculous。 But also kind of 。 。 。 hot！？ ？Really？？ Vanessa
reached up to touch the wig。 She was still a little unfortable in this getup？not to mention
sweltering。 The room was the temperature of a sauna； and her cascading wig of human hair wasn？t
helping any。
？Do a shot！？ Ruby yelled； shoving a glass in her hand。 Vanessa tilted her head back； momentarily
afraid her wig might fall off in the process； and downed the shot； which tasted like gasoline。 She
shook her head from side to side like she was trying to chase her impending hangover away。
Fat chance。
？What the hell are you guys drinking？？ she croaked； wiping her mouth with the back of her hand。
？J&BwithaJ&Bback！？ A girl Vanessa recognized as one of the bartenders from the Five and
Dime； one of Ruby？s favorite Brooklyn hangouts； slurred； shoving another shot glass into
Vanessa？s hand。 ？Drink it！？ As if she had a choice。
The liquor burned Vanessa？s throat。 She shook her shoulders and tried to regain her
eyesight。 ？C？mon； sissy； I want to talk！？ Ruby yelled into her ear。
？You want to walk？？ Vanessa asked； pointing to a bartender wearing a tight Western shirt
unbuttoned to her belly button； ridiculously short jean shorts； and red stilettos； strutting on top of
the bar as though it were a catwalk。
？No！？ Ruby pulled her into a darkened corner near the ladies？ room。 At least it was slightly
quieter。 She clutched Vanessa？s arm like a drowning woman。
？Isaid； I need totalk 。？ Ruby had to shout over the frantic fiddle of the Charlie Daniels
Band？s ？The Devil Went Down to Georgia。？ ？I don？t think I can do this！？ ？Do what？？ Vanessa
asked； pouring another shot into her glass from the half…empty bottle of J&B Ruby clutched in her
hand。 ？Drink？？ She held up the bottle to her sister？s face。 ？？Cause you seem pretty good at it to
me。？ Ruby waved the bottle away impatiently。 ？I don？t think I can marry Piotr。 I don？t know if I
can go through with it。？ Ruby？s face crumpled like a used Kleenex。
？Wait？what？？ Vanessa bent down to place the bottle of J&B on the floor； then she stood back up
to put her arms around her sister。 ？Why？ What？s going on？？ ？Well；？ Ruby sniffed； ？he gave me
this gift today？he said it was in honor of our future life together or some bullshit。？ Vanessa
wrinkled her brow in confusion。 ？Soooo？？ ？V； he bought me this Suzy Homemaker antique tea set
for a fucking wedding present。 He doesn？t fucking know me at all。 I mean； if that？s what he？s
expecting 。 。 。？ She trailed off and poured herself another shot； knocking it back expertly and
wiping her mouth with the back of her hand。 ？Does he think I？m going to be this perfect；
stay…at…home Stepford Wife？ Because that？s not what I？m about at all； and he shouldknow that！？
Ruby filled her shot glass again； and this time Vanessa held her own glass out for a refill。
When in Rome 。 。 。
？I mean； how can I marry a guy who obviously doesn？t even know who the hell Iam ？？ Ruby
shook her head in sadness and disgust。 Behind them a couple stumbled out of the ladies？ room；
looking around guiltily。
？He knows who you are；？ Vanessa heard herself saying？much to her surprise。 ？And I think he
really loves you。？ ？Why do you say that？？ Ruby asked suspiciously。
？Listen。？ Vanessa took her by the arm and was grateful when the music changed to a less noisy
Bonnie Raitt ballad。 ？I had a long talk with Piotr the other night at your gig。？ ？You did？？ Ruby
asked。 ？I mean； so what？？ she added； as if reminding herself to be bitter and angry。
？Just stay with me here；？ Vanessa said impatiently。 ？He mentioned that； back when you guys first
met； you？d told him about how we used to have tea parties when we were little。 Remember？？
Ruby nodded and Vanessa kept going。 ？You told him that we？d drink apple juice out of those
pretty china cups mom had and pretend it was tea？ Well；that？s where he got the idea to buy you an
antique tea set。？ Up on the bar； the red…stilettoed bartender was lining up one polo…shirted guy
after another and forcing them to do shots； then dousing them with water as a chaser。 ？That？s the
sweetest thing I？ve ever heard；？ Ruby responded quietly； filling her shot glass again？along with
Vanessa？s。 ？I？m an ass…hole；？ she declared； one lone tear spilling over her cheek。 ？I can？t believe
I ever doubted him。？ Vanessa brushed the tear away with her fingers； and Ruby held her glass in
the air； her drunken brown eyes shining in the dim light。 ？A toast？？ ？To your wedding！？ Vanessa
yelled； clinking glasses with her sister and then downing the contents of the glass。
Twenty minutes and another shot later； the room was spinning。 The Coyote Ugly girls were up on
the bar line dancing； screaming insults into a megaphone； and Vanessa found herself unable to tear
her eyes away as the girls worked the room。 They were soconfident 。 One gorgeous brunette in a
tight black wifebeater； rhinestone…studded jeans； and a cowboy hat danced furiously on top of the
bar； her body shaking with the music。 A guy in front of the bar in a pink Izod shirt with the collar
popped grabbed her leg。 The brunette bent down； smiling wickedly； and doused him with a pitcher
of water hidden behind the bar。 The crowd erupted in cheers。
Ruby grabbed Vanessa？s arm