eavesdropping and examining his fingernails in a typically gay way。
？Piotr？s working on a new series of paintings and he？s been using me as a model？I can？t wait for
you to see them。？ Scowling at the receiver； Vanessa stomped out of the room。 Okay； so Piotr was
still in the picture。 And presumably he was still using Vanessa？s room as his studio。 But maybe
Ruby wanted her to move back in anyway： she could get a cot or something。 She walked down the
long crumbly hallway to the kitchen and began to spoon granules of Folgers into a lumpy yellow
ceramic mug Dan？s mom had sent over from Europe ages ago。
？Um； sure； I？ll check the paintings out at some point。 。 。
。？ The last she？d heard about Piotr？s ？art；？ he？d been doing a series of paintings of ？monolithic
nudes and their canines。？ She pictured a huge canvas of Ruby naked； astride a slobbering German
shepherd。 Not exactly her idea of ？art。？ This from the girl who prefers photographs of dead
pigeons and spat…out gum？
？Anyway；？ Ruby went on； her voice as breathless as if she？d been running the 10K； ？That？s not
the reallybig news。 Are you sitting down？？ ？Yeah；？ Vanessa lied； distractedly placing her ceramic
cup in the microwave and setting the timer。
？We？re getting married！！！！！？
？What！？？Vanessa sank to the floor in front of the microwave； Folgers crystals scattering all over
the linoleum they？d just mopped this morning。Married？ ToPiotr ？ They？d just met a few months
ago！ He made paintings of naked women anddogs ！ And now he was going to befamily ？ There
was something seriously wrong with the world。
Just then Dan？s mom glided into the kitchen； wearing a diaphanous； floor…length pink dressing
gown embroidered with hundreds of exotic birds。 A pasty； fragrant white cream that smelled like
pound cake covered every inch of her face。 Her fuzzy pink slippers shuffled against the linoleum
floor。 ？Pardon me； I forgot to take my vitamin drink！？ Jeanette whispered； opening the refrigerator
and pouring a noxious…looking brown liquid into a Scooby…Doo glass。 ？Vitamins are nature？s gift
to us all！？ she trilled。 Vanessa just shook her head as Jeanette smacked her lips and started to walk
back to Dan？s room； drinking the disgusting…looking concoction and humming as she went。
？Vanessa？ Can you hear me？？ Ruby？s voice broke the silence。
？Um； yeah。 Whatever。 I mean； congratulations；？ Vanessa murmured into the phone。 She looked
up to see Dan standing in the doorway。 He shot her a quizzical look and mouthed； ？Are you okay？？
Vanessa just nodded and brought the phone closer to her ear。 Ruby was still chattering away
happily； totally oblivious to her less…than…peppy response。
？。 。 。 maid of honor；？ Vanessa heard her sister？s voice say over the low hum of the microwave。
She sat up straighter。 ？Maid ofwhat ？？ she asked incredulously。 ？Who are you？ Where？s my
sister？？ Ruby cackled。 ？e on； you know you？re dying to wear a big Laura Ashley dress。？
Vanessa got to her feet just as the microwave beeped noisily。 No fucking way。
？So； will you do it？？ Her sister？s voice rang in her ears。 Slowly； she removed the mug from the
microwave； handling it carefully so that the water wouldn？t spill over and burn her。 Although
maybe a third…degree burn would get her out of any wedding…related duties。
Tempting。
Vanessa sighed。 She knew she couldn？t say no to her sister； even if Piotr did have horrible teeth
and bestiality issues。
？Yeah； fine。 Whatever。 I？ll do it。？ She took a sip of scalding coffee and promptly spat it out all
over her cargo pants。 ？But only if I can wear my own clothes？there？s no way in hell I？m putting
on one of those totally gay pastel bridesmaid dresses。？ She glanced over at Dan； who had pulled
the hot pink silk jumpsuit out of one of his mom？s bags and was holding it in front of his skinny
body as if picturing what it would look like on。 She mouthed； ？Sorry；？ smiling weakly。 ？I mean； so
totallylame ；？ she said into the phone； wiping her thighs with a ratty brown kitchen towel。
Ruby laughed； and Vanessa could hear her mumbling to
Piotr in the background in some insane language she couldn？t understand。 Probably Martian。
？Don？t worry about that。 The ceremony is a week from Saturday； a picnic kind of thing at
Prospect Park？so it？s totally casual。 Everyone？s bringing some food and wearing their own
clothes anyway。？ Vanessa could hear the click of her sister？s lighter and then the sound of her
exhaling as she blew out the first drag。 Ruby never smoked before she met Piotr。Was ？Eurotrash？
a contagious disease？
And is there a vaccine？
？Thank God。？ Vanessa held the coffee up to her lips； letting the steam float over her skin。 ？You
really had me worried there for a second。？ ？Listen； the bachelorette party is on Thursday。 You？re
kind of supposed to plan it。 I？ve got some ideas though； so don？t worry too much。？ Bachelorette
party？Plan it？ ？Yeah；？ Vanessa managed to mumble while taking another sip of her coffee； which
tasted like ass。 ？I guess。？ Was there some unwritten rule that all coffee in the Humphreys？
apartment had to be terrible？
？Of course you？re going to film the whole wedding； too。 And before I forget； listen？can you ask
Dan if he？ll write a poem to read at the reception？ You know； something about love； that kind of
thing。 Piotr？s friends are planning some performance art； but we？d like someone to read
something and don？t know any other poets。 It would mean a lot to us。？ Vanessa snorted into the
phone。 Straight love poems weren？t exactly Dan？s thing。
？Anyway； listen； I have to run？I have a dress fitting at Kleinfeld first thing in the morning and I
gotta get some sleep。 Oh； and my last gig as a single woman is on Monday at the Galapagos Art
Space？if you？re free； e check it out！？ There was a click； and then the dial tone began buzzing
rudely in Vanessa？s ear。 Waking up early for adress fitting？ Ruby reallyhad been abducted by
aliens。
？My sister？s getting married；？ Vanessa intoned flatly； staring at a postcard of some really old
building in Prague that Jenny had sent。 The building was so pletely covered in pigeon shit it
looked like it was made of wax。
？Are youserious ？？ Ruby was the last person Dan ever thought would get married？except for
maybe Vanessa。 Vanessa had told him once that she thought marriage was all about money and
status and that it always had been； all throughout history？in the Middle Ages it was practically a
form of slavery。 Still； Dan had always believed that someday he would get to watch Vanessa walk
moodily down the aisle in a long black dress； carrying a bunch of brilliant white daisies。 He？d
even written a poem about it。 But now he was gay； and gay marriage wasn？t evenlegal in New
York。
？。 。 。 anyway； she wants you to write a poem and read it at the ceremony。？Vanessa？s voice broke
into Dan？s thoughts。
？Who？ Me？？ Dan tied the sleeves of the fuchsia jumpsuit around his shoulders like a cape？that
was the only way it was ever going to fit。
？Yeah。？ Vanessa downed the rest of her coffee in one gulp。 ？You。 The one in the cape。？ Supergay？
Captain Gaypants？
Dan scr