塞缪尔？麦科德？克罗瑟斯
人生中许多微不足道的烦躁都是由于人人想当别人的自然欲望所导致的，它使社会不能完美地组织起来，不能让每个人都各司其职，各就其位。想当别人的欲望常常引导我们去做一些从严格意义上来说并不属于自己分内的事。我们的天赋与才能常常超出我们自己行业与职务的狭小范围。每个人都觉得自己才过其位，大材小用，因而无时无刻不在做着那种空头理论家们所谓的“额外工作”。
一个态度认真的女用人不会满足于只干几件指定的差事。她身上还有没用完的精力。她的志向是做一名家庭改革方面的专家。于是她来到号称是她的主人的书桌前，在那上面进行一番彻底改革。按照她的整洁观念，所有文件都重新进行了归置。当那位可怜的主人回来后，发现为他所熟悉的杂乱无章已经变成面目可憎的整洁时，他简直成了一个反动分子。
一位秉性严肃的市电车道公司经理绝不会只从运送乘客方面和使乘客觉得便宜、舒适这一简单责任中获得满足感。他要发挥道德促进会宣讲的人的职责。于是，当一位可怜的乘客正在皮带环的下面摇摇晃晃站立不稳时，他却要为这位乘客读点东西，请求他发扬基督徒的美德，不要推挤。
一个人走进理发店，目的只是刮刮胡子而已，却遇到一位雄心勃勃的理发师。这位志向高远的理发师决不满足于仅对人类的幸福安康做微小的贡献。他坚持认为，他这位顾客还需要洗发、修指甲、按摩、在滚热的毛巾下发汗，在电风扇下冷却等等，并在进行所有这些的同时，他的皮鞋还必须被重新上油擦拭。
当你看到有些人在接受种种他们并不需要的服务时所表现的忍耐，你不觉得奇怪吗？其实也不过是为了不伤害情愿多干点活的手艺人的感情罢了。你看，卧车中的一些乘客站起身来让人家为他刷衣服时，有着一副多么耐心的神情啊，他们十有八九并不想让人去刷。他们宁愿衣服上留着灰尘也不愿被迫忍受这种事，但是他们明白不能让别人感到失望。这是整个旅行中的隆重仪式，是正式献礼之前不可缺少的。
人人想当别人，这种情形也是艺术家与文人学士出现越轨现象的一个重要原因。我们的画家、剧作家、音乐家、诗人以及小说作者也都像上面说的女用人、铁路经理与列车员一样，犯着人们所通有的毛病。他们总是希望“以最多的方式对最多的人们做最多的工作”。他们厌倦了自己所熟悉的东西，而喜欢尝试种种新的结合。于是他们经常把不同的事物拉扯在一起。一种艺术的实践者总是尽量用另外一种艺术制造出某种效果。
于是有的音乐家想当画家，像使用画笔一样来使用小提琴。他要让我们看见他为我们描绘的落日彩霞。而画家则想当音乐家，想把交响乐画出来，并很苦恼那些缺乏修养的人听不出他画中的音乐，虽然那些色彩的确不协调。另一位画家则想当建筑师，希望他绘制出的图画能产生砖石砌成的感觉。结果他的作品倒很像一所砖房，但可惜在一般人看来却不像一幅图画。再如一位散文作家厌倦了写散文，而想当诗人。于是他在每一行开头用了大写字母以后，却继续按着他的散文手法来写。
再比如看戏剧。你带着你那简单的莎土比亚式的观念走进剧院，以为来到这里就是看戏，但是你的剧作家却想成为病理学家。于是你发现自己身陷诊所，四周阴森难耐。你本来到这里只是为了消遣，找个地方释放心情，但你这位不入流的人士却走入了这个专门为你准备的场所，因此你不得不熬到终场。至于你有自己的苦衷这点并不能成为充分的理由使你豁免。
又如你拿起一部小说来看，以为这肯定是一则故事。谁料到这位小说家却另有主张。他想充当你的精神顾问。他要对你的心智有所建树，他要把你的基本思想重新整理一番，他要抚慰你的灵魂，对你整个人进行清理。尽管你并不想让他为你做什么清理或调整，他却要为你做所有这些事。你不愿意让他改造你的心智。确实，你自己也只有那么一颗可怜的心，你自己的工作也还需要它。 电子书 分享网站
人人想当别人（2）
Every Man’s Natural Desire to Be Somebody Else
Samuel McChord Crothers
The natural desire of every man to be somebody else explains many of the minor irritations of life。 It prevents that perfect organization of society in which everyone should know his place and keep it。 The desire to be somebody else leads us to practice on work that does not strictly belong to us。 We all have aptitudes and talents that overflow the narrow bounds of our trade or profession。 Every man feels that he is bigger than his job； and he is all the time doing what theologians call “works of supererogation。”
The serious…minded housemaid is not content to do what she is told to do。 She has an unexpended balance of energy。 She wants to be a general household reformer。 So she goes to the desk of the titular master of the house and gives it a thorough reformation。 She arranges the papers according to her idea of neatness。 When the poor gentleman returns and finds his familiar chaos transformed into a hateful order； he bees a reactionary。
The serious manager of a street railway pany is not content with the simple duty of transporting passengers cheaply and fortably。 He wants to exercise the functions of a lecturer in an ethical culture society。 While the transported victim is swaying precariously from the end of a strap he reads a notice urging him to practise Christian courtesy and not to push。
A man enters a barber’s shop with the simple desire of being shaved。 But he meets with the more ambitious desires of the barber。 The serious barber is not content with any slight contribution to human welfare。 He insists that his client shall be shampooed； manicured； massaged； steamed beneath boiling towels； cooled off by electric fans； and； while all this is going on； that he shall have his boots blacked。
Have you never marveled at the patience of people in having so many things done to them that they don’t want； just to avoid hurting the feelings of professional people who want to do more than is expected of them？ You watch the stoical countenance of the passenger in a Pullman car as he stands up to be brushed。 The chances are that he doesn’t want to be brushed。 He would prefer to leave the dust on his coat rather than to be pelled to swallow it。 But he knows what is expected of him。 It is a part of the solemn ritual of traveling。 It precedes the offering。
The fact that every man desires to be somebody else explains many of the aberrations of artists and literary men。 The painters； dramatists； musicians； poets； and novelists are just as human as housemaids and railway managers and porters。 They want to do “all the good they can to all the people they can in all the ways they can。” They get tired of the ways they are used to and like to try new binations。 So they are continually mixing things。 The practitioner of one art tries to produce effects that are proper to another art。
人人想当别人（3）
A musician wants to be a painter and use his violin as if it were a brush。 He would have us see the sunset glories that he is painting for us。 A painter wants to be a musician and paint symphonies； and he is grieved because the uninstructed cannot hear his pictures； although the colors do swear at each other。 Another painter wants to be an architect and build up his picture as if it were made of cubes of brick。 It looks like brick…work； but to the natural eye it doesn’t look like a picture。 A prose…writer gets tired of writing prose； and wants to be a poet。 So he begins every line with a capital letter； and keeps on writing prose。
You go to the theatre with the simple…minded Shakespearean idea that the play’s the thing。 But the playwright wants to be a pathologist。 So you discover that you have dropped into a gruesome clinic。 You sought innocent relaxation； but you are one of the hon…elect and have gone to the place prepared for you。 You must see the thing through。 The fact that you have troubles of your own is not a sufficient claim for exemption。
Or you take up a novel expecting it to be a work of fiction。 But the novelist has other views。 He wants to be your spir