hair cut or the books her mother found unsuitable spirited away to some limbo in
the attic 。。。 after half a year of that； she would have a plete nervous
breakdown。 And her mother would pat her hand and say fortingly； Although it's
not your fault； it's all your own fault。 You were never ready。 You showed your
true colors when you came between your father and me。
My father； Danny's father。 Mine； his。
（Who giveth this woman？ I do。 Dead of a heart attack six months later。）
The night before that morning she had lain awake almost until he came in；
thinking； ing to her decision。
The divorce was necessary； she told herself。 Her mother and father didn't
belong in the decision。 Neither did her feelings of guilt over their marriage
nor her feelings of inadequacy over her own。 It was necessary for her son's
sake； and for herself； if she was to salvage anything at all from her early
adulthood。 The handwriting on the wall was brutal but clear。 Her husband was a
lush。 He had a bad temper； one he could no longer keep wholly under control now
that he was drinking so heavily and his writing was going so badly。 Accidentally
or not accidentally； he had broken Danny's arm。 He was going to lose his job； if
not this year then the year after。 Already she had noticed the sympathetic looks
from the other faculty wives。 She told herself that she had stuck with the messy
job of her marriage for as long as she could。 Now she would have to leave it。
Jack could have full visitation rights； and she would want support from him only
until she could find something and get on her feet — and that would have to be
fairly rapidly because she didn't know how long Jack would be able to pay
support money。 She would do it with as little bitterness as possible。 But it had
to end。
So thinking； she had fallen off into her own thin and unrestful sleep； haunted
by the faces of her own mother and father。 You're nothing but a home…wrecker；
her mother said。 Who giveth this； woman？ the minister said。 I do； her father
said。 But in the bright and sunny morning she felt the same。 Her back to him；
her hands plunged in warm dishwater up to the wrists； she had menced with the
unpleasantness。
〃I want to talk to you about something that might be best for Danny and I。 For
you too； maybe。 We should have talked about it before； I guess。〃
And then he had said an odd thing。 She had expected to discover his anger； to
provoke the bitterness； the recriminations。 She had expected a mad dash for the
liquor cabinet。 But not this soft； almost toneless reply that was so unlike him。
It was almost as though the Jack she had lived with for six years had never e
back last night — as if he had been replaced by some unearthly doppelganger that
she would never know or be quite sure of。
〃Would you do something for me？ A favor？〃
〃What？〃 She had to discipline her voice strictly to keep it from trembling。
〃Let's talk about it in a week。 If you still want to〃
And she had agreed。 It remained unspoken between them。 During that week he had
seen Al Shockley more than ever； but he came home early and there was no liquor
on his breath。 She imagined she smelled it； but knew it wasn't so。 Another week。
And another。
Divorce went back to mittee； unvoted on。
What had happened？ She still wondered and still had not the slightest idea。
The subject was taboo between them。 He was like a man who had leaned around a
corner and had seen an unexpected monster lying in wait； crouching among the
dried bones of its old kills。 The liquor remained in the cabinet； but he didn't
touch it。 She had considered throwing them out a dozen times but in the end
always backed away from the idea； as if some unknown charm would be broken by
the act。
And there was Danny's part in it to consider。
If she felt she didn't know her husband； then she was in awe of her child — awe
in the strict meaning of that word： a kind of undefined superstitious dread。
Dozing lightly； the image of the instant of his birth was presented to her。
She was again lying on the delivery table； bathed in sweat； her hair in strings；
her feet splayed out in the stirrups
（and a little high from the gas they kept giving her whiffs of； at one point
she had muttered that she felt like an advertisement for gang rape； and the
nurse； an old bird who had assisted at the births of enough children to populate
a high school； found that extremely funny）
the doctor between her legs； the nurse off to one side； arranging instruments
and humming。 The sharp； glassy pains had been ing at steadily shortening
intervals； and several times she had screamed in spite of her shame。
Then the doctor told her quite sternly that she must PUSH； and she did； and
then she felt something being taken from her。 It was a clear and distinct
feeling； one she would never forget…the thing taken。 Then the doctor held her
son up by the legs…she had seen his tiny sex and known he was a boy immediately…
and as the doctor groped for the airmask； she had seen something else； something
so horrible that she found the strength to scream again after she had thought
all screams were used up：
He has no face！
But of course there had been a face； Danny's own sweet face； and the caul that
had covered it at birth now resided in a small jar which she had kept； almost
shamefully。 She did not hold with old superstition； but she had kept the caul
nevertheless。 She did not hold with wives' tales； but the boy had been unusual
from the first。 She did not believe in second sight but —
Did Daddy have an accident？ I dreamed Daddy had an accident。
Something had changed him。 She didn't believe it was just her getting ready to
ask for a divorce that had done it。 Something had happened before that morning。
Something that had happened while she slept uneasily。 Al Shockley said that
nothing had happened； nothing at all； but he had averted his eyes when he said
it； and if you believed faculty gossip； Al had also climbed aboard the fabled
wagon。
Did Daddy have an accident？
Maybe a chance collision with fate； surely nothing much more concrete。 She had
read that day's paper and the next day's with a closer eye than usual； but she
saw nothing she could connect with Jack。 God help her； she had been looking for
a hit…and…run accident or a barroom brawl that had resulted in serious injuries
or 。。。 who knew？ Who wanted to？ But no policeman came to call； either to ask
questions or with a warrant empowering him to take paint scrapings from the WV's
bumpers。 Nothing。 Only her husband's one hundred and eighty degree change and
her son's sleepy question on waking：
Did Daddy have an accident？ I dreamed 。。。
She had stuck with Jack more for Danny's sake than she would admit in her
waking hours； but now； sleeping lightly； she could admit it： Danny had been
Jack's for the asking； almost from the first。 Just as she had been her father's；
almost from the first。 She couldn't remember Danny ever spitting a bottle back
on Jack's shirt。 Jack could get him to eat after she had given up in disgust；
e