（It's him first and it's always been him first）
of jealousy。 Jack had shouted at him； she had forted him； yet it was to his
father that Danny said；
〃I'm sorry if I was bad。〃
〃Nothing to be sorry for； doc。〃 Jack ruffled his hair。 〃What the hell happened
in there？〃
Danny shook his head slowly； dazedly。 〃I 。。。 I don't know。 Why did you tell
me to stop stuttering； Daddy？ I don't stutter。〃
〃Of course not；〃 Jack said heartily； but Wendy felt a cold finger touch her
heart。 Jack suddenly looked scared； as if he'd seen something that might just
have been a ghost。
〃Something about the timer。。。〃 Danny muttered。
〃What？〃 Jack was leaning forward； and Danny flinched in her arms。
〃Jack； you're scaring him！〃 she said； and her voice was high； accusatory。 It
suddenly came to her that they were all scared。 But of what？
〃I don't know； I don't know；〃 Danny was saying to his father。 〃What 。。。 what
did I say； Daddy？〃
〃Nothing；〃 Jack muttered。 He took his handkerchief from his back pocket and
wiped his mouth with it。 Wendy had a moment of that sickening time…is…running…
backward feeling again。 It was a gesture she remembered well from his drinking
days。
〃Why did you lock the door； Danny？〃 she asked gently。 〃Why did you do that？〃
〃Tony；〃 he said。 〃Tony told me to。〃
They exchanged a glance over the top of his head。
〃Did Tony say why； son？〃 Jack asked quietly。
〃I was brushing my teeth and I was thinking about my reading；〃 Danny said。
〃Thinking real hard。 And 。。。 and I saw Tony way down in the mirror。 He said he
had to show me again。〃
〃You mean he was behind you？〃 Wendy asked。
〃No； he was in the mirror。〃 Danny was very emphatic on this point。 〃Way down
deep。 And then I went through the mirror。 The next thing I remember Daddy was
shaking me and I thought I was being bad again。〃
Jack winced as if struck。
〃No； doc；〃 he said quietly。
〃Tony told you to lock the door？〃 Wendy asked； brushing his hair。
〃Yes。〃
〃And what did he want to show you？〃
Danny tensed in her arms； it was as if the muscles in his body had turned into
something like piano wire。 〃I don't remember；〃 he said； distraught。 〃I don't
remember。 Don't ask me。 I 。。。 I don't remember nothing！〃
〃Shh；〃 Wendy said； alarmed。 She began to rock him again。 〃It's all right if
you don't remember； hon。 Sure it is。〃
At last Danny began to relax again。
〃Do you want me to stay a little while？ Read you a story？〃
〃No。 Just the night light。〃 He looked shyly at his father。 〃Would you stay；
Daddy？ For a minute？〃
〃Sure； doc。〃
Wendy sighed。 〃I'll be in the living room； Jack。〃
〃Okay。〃
She got up and watched as Danny slid under the covers。 He seemed very small。
〃Are you sure you're okay； Danny？〃
〃I'm okay。 Just plug in Snoopy； Mom。〃
〃Sure。〃
She plugged in the night light； which showed Snoopy lying fast asleep on top
of his doghouse。 He had never wanted a night light until they moved into the
Overlook； and then he had specifically requested one。 She turned off the lamp
and the overhead and looked back at them； the small white circle of Danny's
face； and Jack's above it。 She hesitated a moment
（and then I went through the mirror）
and then left them quietly。
〃You sleepy？〃 Jack asked； brushing Danny's hair off his forehead。
〃Yeah。〃
〃Want a drink of water？〃
〃No。。。〃
There was silence for five minutes。 Danny was still beneath his hand。 Thinking
the boy had dropped off； he was about to get up and leave quietly when Danny
said from the brink of sleep：
〃Roque。”
Jack turned back； all zero at the bone。
〃Danny — ？〃
〃You'd never hurt Mommy； would you； Daddy？〃
〃No。〃
〃Or me？〃
〃No。〃
Silence again； spinning out。
〃Daddy？〃
〃What？〃
〃Tony came and told me about roque。〃
〃Did he； doc？ What did he say？〃
〃I don't remember much。 Except he said it was in innings。 Like baseball。 Isn't
that funny？〃
〃Yes。〃 Jack's heart was thudding dully in his chest。 How could the boy
possibly know a thing like that？ Roque was played by innings； not like baseball
but like cricket。
〃Daddy 。。。 ？〃 He was almost asleep now。
〃What？〃
〃What's redrum？〃
〃Red drum？ Sounds like something an Indian might take on the warpath。〃
Silence。
〃Hey； doc？〃
But Danny was alseep； breathing in long； slow strokes。 Jack sat looking down
at him for a moment； and a rush of love pushed through him like tidal water。 Why
had he yelled at the boy like that？ It was perfectly normal for him to stutter a
little。 He had been ing out of a daze or some weird kind of trance； and
stuttering was perfectly normal under those circumstances。 Perfectly。 And he
hadn't said timer at all。 It had been something else； nonsense； gibberish。
How had he known roque was played in innings？ Had someone told him？ Ullman？
Hallorann？
He looked down at his hands。 They were made into tight； clenched fists of
tension
（god how i need a drink）
and the nails were digging into his palms like tiny brands。 Slowly he forced
them to open。
〃I love you； Danny；〃 he whispered。 〃God knows I do。〃
He left the room。 He had lost his temper again； only a little； but enough to
make him feel sick and afraid。 A drink would blunt that feeling； oh yes。 It
would blunt that
（Something about the timer）
and everything else。 There was no mistake about those words at all。 None。 Each
had e out clear as a bell。 He paused in the hallway； looking back； and
automatically wiped his lips with his handkerchief。
* * *
Their shapes were only dark silhouettes in the glow of the night light。 Wendy；
wearing only panties； went to his bed and tucked him in again； he had kicked the
covers back。 Jack stood in the doorway； watching as she put her inner wrist
against his forehead。
〃Is he feverish？〃
〃No。〃 She kissed his cheek。
〃Thank God you made that appointment；〃 he said as she came back to the
doorway。 〃You think that guy knows his stuff？〃
〃The checker said he was very good。 That's all I know。〃
〃If there's something wrong； I'm going to send you and him to your mother's；
Wendy。〃
〃No。〃
〃I know；〃 he said； putting an arm around her； 〃how you feel。〃
〃You don't know how I feel at all about her。〃
〃Wendy； there's no place else I can send you。 You know that。〃
〃If you came — 〃
〃Without this job we're done；〃 he said simply。 〃You know that。〃
Her silhouette nodded slowly。 She knew it。
〃When I had that interview with Ullman； I thought he was just blowing off his
bazoo。 Now I'm not so sure。 Maybe I really shouldn't have tried this with you
two along。 Forty miles from nowhere。〃
〃I love you；〃 she said。 〃And Danny loves you even more； if that's possible。 He
would have been heartbroken； Jack。 He will be； if you send us away。〃
〃Don't make it sound that way。〃
〃If the doctor says there's something wrong； I'll look for a job in
Sidewinder；〃 she said。 〃If I can't get one in Sidewinder； Danny and I will go to
Boulder。 I can't go to my mother； Jack。 Not on those terms。 Don't ask me。 I