《还乡The Return Of The Native》

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还乡The Return Of The Native- 第40部分


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ine without knowing what she drank。  The man for whom she had pre…determined to nourish a passion went into the small room; and across it to the further extremity。 
The mummers; as has been stated; were seated on a bench; one end of which extended into the small apartment; or pantry; for want of space in the outer room。  Eustacia; partly from shyness; had chosen the midmost seat; which thus manded a view of the interior of the pantry as well as the room containing the guests。  When Clym passed down the pantry her eyes followed him in the gloom which prevailed there。  At the remote end was a door which; just as he was about to open it for himself; was opened by somebody within; and light streamed forth。
The person was Thomasin; with a candle; looking anxious; pale; and interesting。  Yeobright appeared glad to see her; and pressed her hand。  “That’s right; Tamsie;” he said heartily; as though recalled to himself by the sight of her; “you have decided to e down。  I am glad of it。”
“Hush—no; no;” she said quickly。  “I only came to speak to you。”
“But why not join us?”
“I cannot。  At least I would rather not。  I am not well enough; and we shall have plenty of time together now you are going to be home a good long holiday。”
“It isn’t nearly so pleasant without you。  Are you really ill?”
“Just a little; my old cousin—here;” she said; playfully sweeping her hand across her heart。
“Ah; Mother should have asked somebody else to be present tonight; perhaps?”
“O no; indeed。  I merely stepped down; Clym; to ask you—“ Here he followed her through the doorway into the private room beyond; and; the door closing; Eustacia and the mummer who sat next to her; the only other witness of the performance; saw and heard no more。 
The heat flew to Eustacia’s head and cheeks。  She instantly guessed that Clym; having been home only these two or three days; had not as yet been made acquainted with Thomasin’s painful situation with regard to Wildeve; and seeing her living there just as she had been living before he left home; he naturally suspected nothing。  Eustacia felt a wild jealousy of Thomasin on the instant。  Though Thomasin might possibly have tender sentiments towards another man as yet; how long could they be expected to last when she was shut up here with this interesting and travelled cousin of hers?  There was no knowing what affection might not soon break out between the two; so constantly in each other’s society; and not a distracting object near。  Clym’s boyish love for her might have languished; but it might easily be revived again。 
Eustacia was nettled by her own contrivances。  What a sheer waste of herself to be dressed thus while another was shining to advantage! Had she known the full effect of the encounter she would have moved heaven and earth to get here in a natural manner。  The power of her face all lost; the charm of her emotions all disguised; the fascinations of her coquetry denied existence; nothing but a voice left to her; she had a sense of the doom of Echo。  “Nobody here respects me;” she said。  She had overlooked the fact that; in ing as a boy among other boys; she would be treated as a boy。  The slight; though of her own causing; and self…explanatory; she was unable to dismiss as unwittingly shown; so sensitive had the situation made her。 
Women have done much for themselves in histrionic dress。  To look far below those who; like a certain fair personator of Polly Peachum early in the last century; and another of Lydia Languish early in this; '1' have won not only love but ducal coronets into the bargain; whole shoals of them have reached to the initial satisfaction of getting love almost whence they would。  But the Turkish Knight was denied even the chance of achieving this by the fluttering ribbons which she dared not brush aside。 
'1' Written in 1877。
Yeobright returned to the room without his cousin。  When within two or three feet of Eustacia he stopped; as if again arrested by a thought。  He was gazing at her。  She looked another way; disconcerted; and wondered how long this purgatory was to last。  After lingering a few seconds he passed on again。 
To court their own disfiture by love is a mon instinct with certain perfervid women。  Conflicting sensations of love; fear; and shame reduced Eustacia to a state of the utmost uneasiness。  To escape was her great and immediate desire。  The other mummers appeared to be in no hurry to leave; and murmuring to the lad who sat next to her that she preferred waiting for them outside the house; she moved to the door as imperceptibly as possible; opened it; and slipped out。 
The calm; lone scene reassured her。  She went forward to the palings and leant over them; looking at the moon。  She had stood thus but a little time when the door again opened。  Expecting to see the remainder of the band Eustacia turned; but no—Clym Yeobright came out as softly as she had done; and closed the door behind him。 
He advanced and stood beside her。  “I have an odd opinion;” he said; “and should like to ask you a question。  Are you a woman—or am I wrong?”
“I am a woman。”
His eyes lingered on her with great interest。  “Do girls often play as mummers now?  They never used to。”
“They don’t now。”
“Why did you?”
“To get excitement and shake off depression;” she said in low tones。 
“What depressed you?”
“Life。”
“That’s a cause of depression a good many have to put up with。”
“Yes。”
A long silence。  “And do you find excitement?” asked Clym at last。
“At this moment; perhaps。”
“Then you are vexed at being discovered?”
“Yes; though I thought I might be。”
“I would gladly have asked you to our party had I known you wished to e。  Have I ever been acquainted with you in my youth?”
“Never。”
“Won’t you e in again; and stay as long as you like?”
“No。 I wish not to be further recognized。”
“Well; you are safe with me。”  After remaining in thought a minute he added gently; “I will not intrude upon you longer。  It is a strange way of meeting; and I will not ask why I find a cultivated woman playing such a part as this。” She did not volunteer the reason which he seemed to hope for; and he wished her good night; going thence round to the back of the house; where he walked up and down by himself for some time before re…entering。 
Eustacia; warmed with an inner fire; could not wait for her panions after this。  She flung back the ribbons from her face; opened the gate; and at once struck into the heath。  She did not hasten along。  Her grandfather was in bed at this hour; for she so frequently walked upon the hills on moonlight nights that he took no notice of her ings and goings; and; enjoying himself in his own way; left her to do likewise。  A more important subject than that of getting indoors now engrossed her。  Yeobright; if he had the least curiosity; would infallibly discover her name。  What then?  She first felt a sort of exultation at the way in which the adventure had terminated; even though at moments between her exultations she was abashed and blushful。  Then this consideration recurred to chill her: What was the use of her exploit?  She was at present a total stranger to the Yeobright family。  The unreas

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