in the form of a liquid； solid； powder； or a bination
thereof。 The foundation was the most impressive of all： it was
as if someone had managed to remove an actual sample of skin
directly from my face and custom…mix a pint or two of the
stuff。 Whether it “added sheen” or “covered blemishes；” every
single solitary little bottle matched my skin tone better
than； well； my own skin。 Packed in a slightly smaller matching
plaid case were the supplies： cotton balls； cotton squares；
Q…tips； sponges； somewhere in the vicinity of two dozen
different…size application brushes； washcloths； two different
types of eye makeup remover （moisturizing and oil…free）； and
no less than twelve—TWELVE—kinds of moisturizer （facial； body；
deep…conditioning； with SPF 15； glimmering； tinted； scented；
nonscented； hypoallergenic； with alpha…hydroxy； antibacterial；
and—just in case that nasty October Parisian sun got the best
of me—with aloe vera）。
Tucked in a side pocket of the smaller case were legal…size
pieces of paper with preprinted faces rendered on each one；
enlarged to fit the page。 Each face bragged an impressive
makeover： Allison had applied the actual makeup she’d included
in the kit to the paper faces。 One face was eerily labeled
“Relaxed Evening Glamour” but had a caveat under it in big；
bold marker that read： NOT FOR BLACK…TIE！！ TOO CASUAL！！ The
nonformal face had a light covering of the matte foundation
under a slight brush of bronzing powder； a light dab of liquid
or “crème” blush； some very sexy； dark…lined and heavily
shadowed eyelids accented by jet black mascara’d lashes； and
what appeared to be a quick； casual swipe of high…gloss lip
color。 When I’d mumbled under my breath to Allison that this
would be utterly impossible for me to recreate； she looked
exasperated。
“Well； hopefully you won’t have to；” she said in a voice that
sounded so taxed； I thought she might collapse under the
weight of my ignorance。
“No？ Then why do I have nearly two dozen ‘faces’ suggesting
different ways to use all this stuff？”
Her withering glance was worthy of Miranda。
“Andrea。 Be serious。 This is for emergencies only； in case
Miranda asks you to go somewhere with her at the last minute；
or if your hair and makeup person can’t make it。 Oh； that
reminds me； let me show you the hair stuff I packed。”
As Allison demonstrated how to use four different types of
round brushes to blow my hair straight； I tried to make sense
of what she’d just said。 I would have a hair and makeup
person； too？ I hadn’t arranged for anyone to do me when I’d
booked all of Miranda’s people； so who had？ I had to ask。
“The Paris office；” Allison replied with a sigh。 “You’re
representingRunway； you know； and Miranda is very sensitive to
that。 You’ll be attending some of the most glamorous events in
the world alongside Miranda Priestly。 You don’t think you
could achieve the right look on your own； do you？”
“No； of course not。 It’s definitely better that I have
professional help for this。 Thank you。”
Then Allison kept me cornered an additional two hours until
she was satisfied that if any of the fourteen hair and makeup
appointments I had scheduled over the course of the week fell
through； I wouldn’t humiliate our boss by smearing the mascara
across my lips or shaving the sides of my head and spiking the
center into a mohawk。 When we were through； I thought I’d
finally get a moment to race down to the dining room and grab
some calorie…enriched soup； but Allison picked up Emily’s
extension—her old phone line—and dialed Stef in the
accessories department。
“Hi； I’m done with her and she’s here right now。 You want to
e over？”
“Wait！ I need to go get lunch before Miranda es back！”
Allison rolled her eyes just like Emily。 I wondered if it was
something about that particular position that inspired such
expert demonstrations of irritation。 “Fine。 No； no； I was
talking to Andrea；” she said into the phone； raising her
eyebrows at me—surprise； surprise—just like Emily。 “It seems
that she’shungry 。 I know。 Yes； I know。 I told her that； but
she seems intent on 。 。 。eating 。”
I walked out of the office and picked up a large cup of cream
of broccoli with cheddar cheese and returned within three
minutes to find Miranda sitting at her desk； holding the phone
receiver away from her face like it was covered in leeches。
She was due to fly to Milan that very evening but I wasn’t
sure I’d survive to see it happen。
“The phone rings； Andrea； but when I pick it up—because you’re
apparently not interested in doing so—no one’s there。 Can you
explain this phenomenon？” she asked。
Of course I could explain it； just not to her。 On the rare
occasion that Miranda was in her office alone； she sometimes
picked up the phone when it rang。 Naturally callers were so
shocked to hear her voice on the other end that they promptly
hung up。 No one was actually prepared tospeak with her when
they called； since the likelihood of being put through was
next to nil。 I’d gotten dozens of e…mails from editors or
assistants informing me—as if I didn’t know—that Miranda was
answering the phone again。 “Where are you guys？？？” The
panicked missives would read； one after another。 “She’s
answering her own phone！！！！”
I mumbled something about how I； too； received hang…ups every
now and then； but Miranda had already lost interest。 She was
peering not at me but at my cup of soup。 Some of the creamy
green fluid was dripping slowly down the side。 Her gaze turned
to one of disgust when she realized I was not only holding
something edible； but that I had clearly planned to consume it
as well。
“Dispose of that immediately！” she barked from fifteen feet
away。 “The smell of it alone is enough to make me ill。”
I dropped the offending soup in the garbage can and gazed
wistfully after the lost nourishment before her voice jerked
me back to reality。
“I’m ready for the run…throughs！” she screeched； settling back
into her chair more easily now that the food she’d spotted
atRunway had been discarded。 “And the moment we’re through
here； call the features meeting。”
Each word caused another adrenaline surge； since I was never
sure what exactly she’d be requesting； I was never sure if I’d
be able to handle it or not。 Since it was Emily’s job to
schedule the run…throughs and the weekly meetings； I had to
race over to her desk and check her appointment book。 In the
three o’clock slot she had scribbled：Sedona Shoot run…through；
Lucia/Helen 。 I jabbed Lucia’s extension and spoke as soon as