st from the effort of packing a few of my belongings into a brown paper bag。 But I d managed to get ready and was sitting on the edge of the bed when Farid came in with the news。 Sohrab sat on the bed next to me。
Where did they go？ I asked。
Farid shook his head。 You don t understand……
Because Rahim Khan said……
I went to the U。S。 consulate； Farid said； picking up my bag。 There never was a John and Betty Caldwell in Peshawar。 According to the people at the consulate； they never existed。 Not here in Peshawar； anyhow。
Next to me； Sohrab was flipping through the pages of the old National Geographic。
WE GOT THE MONEY from the bank。 The manager； a paunchy man with sweat patches under his arms； kept flashing smiles and telling me that no one in the bank had touched the money。
Absolutely nobody； he said gravely； swinging his index finger the same way Armand had。
Driving through Peshawar with so much money in a paper bag was a slightly frightening experience。 Plus； I suspected every bearded man who stared at me to be a Talib killer； sent by Assef。 Two things pounded my fears： There are a lot of bearded men in Peshawar； and everybody stares。
What do we do with him？ Farid said； walking me slowly from the hospital accounting office back to the car。 Sohrab was in the backseat of the Land Cruiser； looking at traffic through the rolled…down window； chin resting on his palms。
He can t stay in Peshawar； I said； panting。
Nay； Amir agha； he can t； Farid said。 He d read the question in my words。 I m sorry。 I wish I……
That s all right； Farid； I said。 I managed a tired smile。 You have mouths to feed。 A dog was standing next to the truck now； propped on its rear legs； paws on the truck s door； tail wagging。 Sohrab was petting the dog。 I guess he goes to Islamabad for now； I said。
I SLEPT THROUGH almost the entire four…hour ride to Islamabad。 I dreamed a lot； and most of it I only remember as a hodge podge of images； snippets of visual memory flashing in my head like cards in a Rolodex： Baba marinating lamb for my thirteenth birthday party。 Soraya and I making love for the first time； the sun rising in the east； our ears still ringing from the wedding music； her henna…painted hands laced in mine。 The time Baba had taken Hassan and me to a strawberry field in Jalalabad……the owner had told us we could eat as much as we wanted to as long as we bought at least four kilos……and how we d both ended up with bellyaches。 How dark； almost black； Hassan s blood had looked on the snow； dropping from the seat of his pants。 Blood is a powerful thing； bachem。 Khala Jamila patting Soraya s knee and saying； God knows best； maybe it wasn t meant to be。 Sleeping on the roof of my father s house。 Baba saying that the only sin that mattered was theft。 When you tell a lie； you steal a man s right to the truth。 Rahim Khan on the phone； telling me there was a way to be good again。 A way to be good again。。。
TWENTY…FOUR
If Peshawar was the city that reminded me of what Kabul used to be； then Islamabad was the city Kabul could have bee someday。 The streets were wider than Peshawar s； cleaner； and lined with rows of hibiscus and flame trees。 The bazaars were more organized and not nearly as clogged with rickshaws and pedestrians。 The architecture was more elegant too； more modern； and I saw parks where roses and jasmine bloomed in the shadows of trees。
Farid found a small hotel on a side street running along the foot of the Margalla Hills。 We passed the famous Shah Faisal Mosque on the way there； reputedly the biggest mosque in the world； with its giant concrete girders and soari