bouncing； spinning faster and faster with the feverish tempo of the tabla； until all but a few dropped out of the ring with exhaustion。 I remember wishing Rahim Khan were there。
And I remember wondering if Hassan too had married。 And if so； whose face he had seen in the mirror under the veil？ Whose henna…painted hands had he held？
AROUND 2 A。M。； the party moved from the banquet hall to Baba s apartment。 Tea flowed once more and music played until the neighbors called the cops。 Later that night； the sun less than an hour from rising and the guests finally gone； Soraya and I lay together for the first time。 All my life； I d been around men。 That night； I discovered the tenderness of a woman。
IT WAS SORAYA who suggested that she move in with Baba and me。
I thought you might want us to have our own place； I said。
With Kaka jan as sick as he is？ she replied。 Her eyes told me that was no way to start a marriage。 I kissed her。 Thank you。
Soraya dedicated herself to taking care of my father。 She made his toast and tea in the morning； and helped him in and out of bed。 She gave him his pain pills； washed his clothes； read him the international section of the newspaper every afternoon； She cooked his favorite dish； potato shorwa； though he could scarcely eat more than a few spoonfuls； and took him out every day for a brief walk around the block。 And when he became bedridden； she turned him on his side every hour so he wouldn t get a bedsore。
One day； I came home from the pharmacy with Baba s morphine pills。 Just as I shut the door； I caught a glimpse of Soraya quickly sliding something under Baba s blanket。 Hey； I saw that！ What were you two doing？ I said。
Nothing； Soraya said； smiling。
Liar。 I lifted Baba s blanket。 What s this？ I said； though as soon as I picked up the leather…bound book； I knew。 I traced my fingers along the gold…stitched borders。 I remembered the fire works the night Rahim Khan had given it to me； the night of my thirteenth birthday； flares sizzling and exploding into bouquets of red； green； and yellow。
I can t believe you can write like this； Soraya said。
Baba dragged his head off the pillow。 I put her up to it。 I hope you don t mind。
I gave the notebook back to Soraya and left the room。 Baba hated it when I cried。
A MONTH AFTER THE WEDDING； the Taheris； Sharif； his wife Suzy； and several of Soraya s aunts came over to our apartment for dinner。 Soraya made sabzi challow……white rice with spinach and lamb。 After dinner； we all had green tea and played cards in groups of four。 Soraya and I played with Sharif and Suzy on the coffee table； next to the couch where Baba lay under a wool blanket。 He watched me joking with Sharif； watched Soraya and me lacing our fingers together； watched me push back a loose curl of her hair。 I could see his internal smile； as wide as the skies of Kabul on nights when the poplars shivered and the sound of crickets swelled in the gardens。
Just before midnight； Baba asked us to help him into bed。 Soraya and I placed his arms on our shoulders and wrapped ours around his back。 When we lowered him； he had Soraya turn off the bedside lamp。 He asked us to lean in； gave us each a kiss。
I ll e back with your morphine and a glass of water； Kaka jan； Soraya said。
Not tonight； he said。 There is no pain tonight。
Okay； she said。 She pulled up his blanket。 We closed the door。 Baba never woke up。
THEY FILLED THE PARKING SPOTS at the mosque in Hayward。 On the balding grass field behind the building； cars and SUVs parked in crowded makeshift rows。 People had to drive three or four blocks north of the mosqu