repose at the side of a fountain after the fatigue of a weary summer day。
MAY 13。 You ask if you shall send me books。 My dear friend， I beseech
you ， for the love of God， relieve me from such a yoke！ I need no more
to be guided， agitated ， heated。 My heart ferments sufficiently of itself。
I want strains to lull me ， and I find them to perfection in my Homer。
Often do I strive to allay the burning fever of my blood； and you have
never witnessed anything so unsteady， so uncertain ， as my heart。 But
need I confess this to you， my dear friend ， who have so often endured
the anguish of witnessing my sudden transitions from sorrow to immoderate
joy ， and from sweet melancholy to violent passions？ I treat my poor
heart like a sick child ， and gratify its every fancy。 Do not mention
this again： there are people who would censure me for it。
MAY 15。 The mon people of the place know me already， and love
me， particularly the children。 When at first I associated with them，
and inquired in a friendly tone about their various trifles ， some fancied
that I wished to ridicule them， and turned from me in exceeding ill…humour。
I did not allow that circumstance to grieve me： I only felt most keenly
what I have often before observed。 Persons who can claim a certain rank
keep themselves coldly aloof from the mon people ， as though they
feared to lose their importance by the contact； whilst wanton idlers ，
and such as are prone to bad joking ， affect to descend to their level，
only to make the poor people feel their impertinence all the more keenly。
I know very well that we are not all equal， nor can be so； but it
is my opinion that he who avoids the mon people， in order not to lose
their respect ， is as much to blame as a coward who hides himself from
his enemy because he fears defeat。
The other day I went to the fountain， and found a young servant…girl，
who had set her pitcher on the lowest step， and looked around to see
if one of her panions was approaching to place it on her head。 I ran
down， and looked at her。 〃Shall I help you ， pretty lass？〃 said I。
She blushed deeply。 〃Oh ， sir！〃 she exclaimed。 〃No ceremony ！〃 I replied。
She adjusted her head…gear， and I helped her。 She thanked me ， and ascended
the steps。
MAY 17。 I have made all sorts of acquaintances， but have as yet found
no society。 I know not what attraction I possess for the people ， so
many of them like me， and attach themselves to me； and then I feel sorry
when the road we pursue together goes only a short distance。 If you inquire
what the people are like here ， I must answer， 〃The same as everywhere。〃
The human race is but a monotonous affair。 Most of them labour the greater
part of their time for mere subsistence ； and the scanty portion of freedom
which remains to them so troubles them that they use every exertion to
get rid of it。 Oh ， the destiny of man ！
But they are a right good sort of people。 If I occasionally forget
myself， and take part in the innocent pleasures which are not yet forbidden
to the peasantry， and enjoy myself ， for instance ， with genuine freedom
and sincerity ， round a well…covered table ， or arrange an excursion
or a dance opportunely， and so forth ， all this produces a good effect
upon my disposition ； only I must forget that there lie dormant within
me so many other qualities which moulder uselessly， and which I am obliged
to keep carefully concealed。 Ah ！ this thought affects my spirits fearfully。
And yet to be misunderstood is the fate of the like of us。
Alas， that the friend of my youth is gone！ Alas ， that I ever knew
her ！ I might say to myself， 〃You are a dreamer to seek what is not
to be found here below。〃 But she has been mine。 I have possessed that
heart ， that noble soul， in whose presence I seemed to be more than
I really was， because I was all that I could be。 Good heavens！ did then
a single power of my soul remain unexercised？ In her presence could I
not display ， to its full extent ， that mysterious feeling with which
my heart embraces nature？ Was not our intercourse a perpetual web of
the finest emotions ， of the keenest wit ， the varieties of which ，
even in their very eccentricity ， bore the stamp of genius ？ Alas ！
the few years by which she was my senior brought her to the grave before
me。 Never can I forget her firm mind or her heavenly patience。
A few days ago I met a certain young V——， a frank， open fellow，
with a most pleasing countenance。 He has just left the university ， does
not deem himself overwise ， but believes he knows more than other people。
He has worked hard， as I can perceive from many circumstances， and，
in short， possesses a large stock of information。 When he heard that
I am drawing a good deal， and that I know Greek（two wonderful things
for this part of the country）， he came to see me， and displayed his
whole store of learning ， from Batteaux to Wood， from De Piles to Winkelmann
： he assured me he had read through the first part of Sultzer's theory，
and also possessed a manuscript of Heyne's work on the study of the antique。
I allowed it all to pass。 I have bee acquainted， also ， with a very
worthy person ， the district judge ， a frank and open…hearted man。 I
am told it is a most delightful thing to see him in the midst of his children，
of whom he has nine。 His eldest daughter especially is highly spoken of。
He has invited me to go and see him ， and I intend to do so on the first
opportunity。 He lives at one of the royal hunting…lodges， which can be
reached from here in an hour and a half by walking， and which he obtained
leave to inhabit after the loss of his wife ， as it is so painful to
him to reside in town and at the court。
There have also e in my way a few other originals of a questionable
sort， who are in all respects undesirable， and most intolerable in their
demonstration of friendship。 Good…bye。 This letter will please you： it
is quite historical。
MAY 22。 That the life of man is but a dream ， many a man has surmised
heretofore； and I， too， am everywhere pursued by this feeling。 When
I consider the narrow limits within which our active and inquiring faculties
are confined； when I see how all our energies are wasted in providing
for mere necessities， which again have no further end than to prolong
a wretched existence； and then that all our satisfaction concerning certain
subjects of investigation ends in nothing better than a passive resignation，
whilst we amuse ourselves painting our prison…walls with bright figures
and brilliant landscapes，—— when I consider all this ， Wilhelm， I
am silent。 I examine my own being ， and find there a world ， but a world
rather of imagination and dim desires ， than of distinctness and living
power。 Then everything swims before my senses ， and I smile and dream
while pursuing my way through the world。
All learned professors and doctors are agreed that children do not
prehend the cause of their desires ； but that the grown…up should
wander about this earth like children ， without knowing