nly had never tried； so he stood looking at them。 〃I wish togoodness my head was through；〃 said he； and instantly； though it wasso thick and large； it slipped through quite easily。 The goloshesanswered that purpose very well； but his body had to follow； andthis was impossible。 〃I am too fat；〃 he said； 〃I thought my head wouldbe the worst； but I cannot get my body through； that is certain。〃 Thenhe tried to pull his head back again； but without success； he couldmove his neck about easily enough； and that was all。 His first feelingwas one of anger； and then his spirits sank below zero。 The goloshesof Fortune had placed him in this terrible position； and unfortunatelyit never occurred to him to wish himself free。 No； instead ofwishing he kept twisting about； yet did not stir from the spot。 Therain poured； and not a creature could be seen in the street。 Theporter's bell he was unable to reach； and however was he to get loose！He foresaw that he should have to stay there till morning； and thenthey must send for a smith to file away the iron bars； and thatwould be a work of time。 All the charity children would just begoing to school： and all the sailors who inhabited that quarter of thetown would be there to see him standing in the pillory。 What a crowdthere would be。 〃Ha；〃 he cried； 〃the blood is rushing to my head；and I shall go mad。 I believe I am crazy already； oh； I wish I werefree； then all these sensations would pass off。〃 This is just whathe ought to have said at first。 The moment he had expressed thethought his head was free。 He started back； quite bewildered withthe fright which the goloshes of Fortune had caused him。 But we mustnot suppose it was all over； no； indeed； there was worse to eyet。 The night passed； and the whole of the following day； but noone sent for the goloshes。 In the evening a declamatory performancewas to take place at the amateur theatre in a distant street。 Thehouse was crowded； among the audience was the young volunteer from thehospital； who seemed to have quite forgotten his adventures of theprevious evening。 He had on the goloshes； they had not been sentfor； and as the streets were still very dirty； they were of greatservice to him。 A new poem； entitled 〃My Aunt's Spectacles；〃 was beingrecited。 It described these spectacles as possessing a wonderfulpower； if any one put them on in a large assembly the peopleappeared like cards； and the future events of ensuing years could beeasily foretold by them。 The idea struck him that he should verymuch like to have such a pair of spectacles； for； if used rightly；they would perhaps enable him to see into the hearts of people；which he thought would be more interesting than to know what was goingto happen next year； for future events would be sure to showthemselves； but the hearts of people never。 〃I can fancy what I shouldsee in the whole row of ladies and gentlemen on the first seat； if Icould only look into their hearts； that lady； I imagine； keeps a storefor things of all descriptions； how my eyes would wander about in thatcollection； with many ladies I should no doubt find a largemillinery establishment。 There is another that is perhaps empty； andwould be all the better for cleaning out。 There may be some wellstored with good articles。 Ah； yes；〃 he sighed； 〃I know one； inwhich everything is solid； but a servant is there already； and that isthe only thing against it。 I dare say from many I should hear thewords； 'Please to walk in。' I only wish I could slip into the heartslike a little tiny thought。〃 This was the word of mand for thegoloshes。 The volunteer shrunk up together； and menced a mostunusual journey through the hearts of the spectators in the first row。The first heart he entered was that of a lady； but he thought hemust have got into one of the rooms of an orthopedic institution whereplaster casts of deformed limbs were hanging on the walls； with thisdifference； that the casts in the institution are formed when thepatient enters； but here they were formed and preserved after the goodpeople had left。 These were casts of the bodily and mental deformitiesof the lady's female friends carefully preserved。 Quickly he passedinto another heart； which had the appearance of a spacious； holychurch； with the white dove of innocence fluttering over the altar。Gladly would he have fallen on his knees in such a sacred place； buthe was carried on to another heart； still； however； listening to thetones of the organ； and feeling himself that he had bee another anda better man。 The next heart was also a sanctuary； which he feltalmost unworthy to enter； it represented a mean garret； in which lay asick mother； but the warm sunshine streamed through the window； lovelyroses bloomed in a little flowerbox on the roof； two blue birds sangof childlike joys； and the sick mother prayed for a blessing on herdaughter。 Next he crept on his hands and knees through an overfilledbutcher's shop； there was meat； nothing but meat； wherever he stepped；this was the heart of a rich； respectable man； whose name is doubtlessin the directory。 Then he entered the heart of this man's wife； it wasan old； tumble…down pigeon…house； the husband's portrait served as aweather…cock； it was connected with all the doors； which opened andshut just as the husband's decision turned。 The next heart was aplete cabi of mirrors； such as can be seen in the Castle ofRosenberg。 But these mirrors magnified in an astonishing degree； inthe middle of the floor sat； like the Grand Lama； the insignificantI of the owner； astonished at the contemplation of his own features。At his next visit he fancied he must have got into a narrowneedlecase； full of sharp needles： 〃Oh；〃 thought he； 〃this must be theheart of an old maid；〃 but such was not the fact； it belonged to ayoung officer； who wore several orders； and was said to be a man ofintellect and heart。
The poor volunteer came out of the last heart in the row quitebewildered。 He could not collect his thoughts； and imagined hisfoolish fancies had carried him away。 〃Good gracious！〃 he sighed； 〃Imust have a tendency to softening of the brain； and here it is soexceedingly hot that the blood is rushing to my head。〃 And thensuddenly recurred to him the strange event of the evening before； whenhis head had been fixed between the iron railings in front of thehospital。 〃That is the cause of it all！〃 he exclaimed； 〃I must dosomething in time。 A Russian bath would be a very good thing tobegin with。 I wish I were lying on one of the highest shelves。〃 Sureenough； there he lay on an upper shelf of a vapor bath； still in hisevening costume； with his boots and goloshes on； and the hot dropsfrom the ceiling falling on his face。 〃Ho！〃 he cried； jumping down andrushing towards the plunging bath。 The attendant stopped him with aloud cry； when he saw a man with all his clothes on。 The volunteerhad； however； presence of mind enough to whisper； 〃It is for a wager；〃but the first thing he did； when he reached his own room； was to put alarge blister on his neck； and another on his back； that his crazy fitmight be cured。 The next morning his back was very sore； which was allhe gained by the goloshes of Fortune。
THE CLERK'S TRANSFORMATION
The watchman； whom we of course have not forgotten； thought；