infidels。 The young master who is presently staring at me with his beautiful
eyes in our dear coffeehouse was disturbed by these weighty words�察�his hands
grew impatient�察�he longed to depict me�察�yet he had no idea what kind of entity
I was。
The sly and calculating old man who wanted to beguile the young master
caught the scent of the young man¨s eagerness。 In the shadowy room�察�the old
man bore his eyes�察�which glowed in the light of the idly burning oil lamp�察�into
the miracle´handed young master。
140
^Death�察�whom the Veians depict in human form�察�is to us an angel like
Azrael�察院�he said。 ^Yes�察�in the form of a man。 Just like Gabriel�察�who appeared as
a person when he delivered the Sacred Word to Our Prophet。 You do
understand�察�don¨t you�拭院�
I realized that the young master�察 �whom Allah had endowed with
astonishing talent�察 �was impatient and wanted to illustrate me�察 �because the
devilish old man had succeeded in arousing him with this devilish idea�此�What
we essentially want is to draw something unknown to us in all its
shadowiness�察�not something we know in all its illumination。
^I am not�察�in the least�察�familiar with Death�察院�said the miniaturist。
^We all know Death�察院�said the old man。
^We fear it�察�but we don¨t know it。 ̄
^Then it falls to you to draw that fear�察院�said the old man。
He was about to create me just then。 The great master miniaturist¨s nape
was tingling�察 �his arm muscles were tensing up and his fingers yearned for a
reed pen。 Yet�察�because he was the most genuine of great masters�察�he restrained
himself�察�knowing that this tension would further deepen the love of painting
in his soul。
The wily old man understood what was happening�察�and aiming to inspire
the youth in his rendition of me�察�which he was certain would be pleted
before long�察�he began to read passages about me from the books before him�此�
El´Jevziyye¨s Book of the Soul�察�Gazzali¨s Book of the Apocalypse and Suyuti。
And so�察�as the master miniaturist with the miracle touch was making this
portrait�察�which you now so fearfully behold�察�he listened to how the Angel of
Death had thousands of wings which spanned Heaven and Earth�察 �from the
farthest point in the East to the farthest point in the West。 He heard how
these wings would be a great fort to the truly faithful yet for sinners and
rebels as painful as a spike through the flesh。 Since a majority of you
miniaturists are bound for Hell�察�he depicted me laden with spikes。 He listened
to how the angel sent to you by Allah to take your lives would carry a ledger
wherein all your names appeared and how�察 �some of your names would be
circled in black。 Only Allah has knowledge of the exact moment of death�此�
When this moment arrives�察 �a leaf falls from the tree located beneath His
throne and whoever lays hold of this leaf can read for whom Death has e。
For all these reasons�察 �the miniaturist depicted me as a terrifying being�察 �but
thoughtful�察 �too�察 �like one who understands accounts。 The mad old man
continued to read�此�when the Angel of Death�察�who appeared in human form�察�
141
extended his hand and took the soul of the person whose time on Earth had
ended�察�an all´enpassing light reminiscent of the light of the sun shone�察�and
thus�察�the wise miniaturist depicted me bathed in light�察�for he also knew that
this light wouldn¨t be visible to those who had gathered beside the deceased。
The impassioned old man read from the Book of the Soul about ancient grave
robbers who had witnessed�察�in place of bodies riddled with spikes�察�only flames
and skulls filled with molten lead。 Hence�察 �the wondrous illustrator�察 �listening
intently to such accounts�察 �depicted me in a manner that would terrify
whoever laid eyes on me。
Later�察�he regretted what he¨d done。 Not due to the terror with which he¨d
imbued his picture�察�but because he dared to make the illustration at all。 As for
me�察 �I feel like someone whose father regards him with embarrassment and
regret。 Why did the miniaturist with the gifted hands regret having illustrated
me�拭�
1。 Because I�察 �the picture of Death�察 �had not been drawn with enough
mastery。 As you can see�察�I am not as perfect as what the great Veian masters
or the old masters of Herat drew。 I�察�too�察�am embarrassed by my wretchedness。
The great master has not depicted me in a style befitting the dignity of Death。
2。 Upon being cunningly duped by the old man�察�the master illustrator who
drew me found himself�察�suddenly and unwittingly�察�imitating the methods and
perspectives of the Frankish virtuosos。 It disturbed his soul because he felt he
was being disrespectful and�察 �he sensed for the first time�察 �oddly dishonorable
toward the old masters。
3。 It must¨ve even dawned on him�察�as it does now on some of the imbeciles
who have tired of me and are smiling�此�Death is no laughing matter。
The master miniaturist who made me now roams the streets endlessly each
night in fits of regret�察 �like certain Chinese masters�察 �he believes he¨s bee
what he has drawn。
142
I AM ESTHER
Ladies from the neighborhoods of Redminaret and Blackcat had ordered
purple and red quilting from the town of Bilejik�察 �so�察 �early in the morning�察 �I
loaded up my makeshift satchel!the large cloth that I¨d fill up and tie into a
bundle。 I removed the green Chinese silk that had recently arrived by way of
the Portuguese trader but wasn¨t selling�察�substituting the more alluring blue。
And given the persistent snows of this endless winter�察�I carefully folded plenty
of colorful socks�察�thick sashes and heavy vests�察�all of wool�察�arranging them in
the center of the bundle�此�When I spread open my blanket a bouquet of color
would bloom to make even the most indifferent woman¨s heart leap。 Next�察�I
packed some lightweight�察�but expensive�察�silk handkerchiefs�察�money purses and
embroidered washcloths especially for those ladies who called for me not to
make a purchase but to gossip。 I lifted the tote。 My goodness�察�this is much too
heavy�察�it¨ll break my back。 I put it down and opened it。 As I stared at it�察�trying
to determine what to leave out�察�I heard knocking at the door。 Nesim opened it
and called to me。
It was that concubine Hayriye�察�all flushed and blushing。 She held a letter in
her hand。
^Shekure sent it�察院 �she hissed。 This slave was so flustered that you¨d think
she was the one who¨d fallen in love and wanted to get married。
With dead seriousness�察 �I grabbed the letter。 I warned the idiot to return
home without being seen by anyone and she left。 Nesim cast a questioning eye
at me。 I took up the larger�察�yet lighter decoy satchel I carried whenever I was
out delivering my letters。
^Shekure�察 �the daughter of Master Enishte�察 �is burning with love�察院 �I said。
^She¨s gone clear out of her mind�察�the poor girl。 ̄
I cackled and stepped outside�察 �but then was