the sky； and those there were just fleecy little white puffs that
couldn't possibly be carrying any rain。 I opened the window — surprised
when it opened silently； without sticking； not having opened it in who
knows how many years — and sucked in the relatively dry air。 It was
nearly warm and hardly windy at all。 My blood was electric in my veins。
Charlie was finishing breakfast when I came downstairs； and he picked up
on my mood immediately。
〃Nice day out；〃 he mented。
〃Yes；〃 I agreed with a grin。
He smiled back； his brown eyes crinkling around the edges。 When Charlie
smiled； it was easier to see why he and my mother had jumped too quickly
into an early marriage。 Most of the young romantic he'd been in those
days had faded before I'd known him； as the curly brown hair — the same
color； if not the same texture； as mine — had dwindled； slowly revealing
more and more of the shiny skin of his forehead。 But when he smiled I
could see a little of the man who had run away with Renée when she was
just two years older than I was now。
I ate breakfast cheerily； watching the dust moats stirring in the
sunlight that streamed in the back window。 Charlie called out a goodbye；
and I heard the cruiser pull away from the house。 I hesitated on my way
out the door； hand on my rain jacket。 It would be tempting fate to leave
it home。 With a sigh； I folded it over my arm and stepped out into the
brightest light I'd seen in months。
By dint of much elbow grease； I was able to get both windows in the truck
almost pletely rolled down。 I was one of the first ones to school； I
hadn't even checked the clock in my hurry to get outside。 I parked and
headed toward the seldomused piic benches on the south side of the
cafeteria。 The benches were still a little damp； so I sat on my jacket；
glad to have a use for it。 My homework was done — the product of a slow
social life — but there were a few Trig problems I wasn't sure I had
right。 I took out my book industriously； but halfway through rechecking
the first problem I was daydreaming； watching the sunlight play on the
redbarked trees。 I sketched inattentively along the margins of my
homework。 After a few minutes； I suddenly realized I'd drawn five pairs
of dark eyes staring out of the page at me。 I scrubbed them out with the
eraser。
〃Bella！〃 I heard someone call； and it sounded like Mike。
I looked around to realize that the school had bee populated while I'd
been sitting there； absentminded。 Everyone was in tshirts； some even in
shorts though the temperature couldn't be over sixty。 Mike was ing
toward me in khaki shorts and a striped Rugby shirt； waving。
〃Hey； Mike；〃 I called； waving back； unable to be halfhearted on a morning
like this。
He came to sit by me； the tidy spikes of his hair shining golden in the
light； his grin stretching across his face。 He was so delighted to see
me； I couldn't help but feel gratified。
〃I never noticed before — your hair has red in it；〃 he mented；
catching between his fingers a strand that was fluttering in the light
breeze。
〃Only in the sun。〃
I became just a little unfortable as he tucked the lock behind my ear。
〃Great day； isn't it？〃
〃My kind of day；〃 I agreed。
〃What did you do yesterday？〃 His tone was just a bit too proprietary。
〃I mostly worked on my essay。〃 I didn't add that I was finished with it —
no need to sound smug。
He hit his forehead with the heel of his hand。 〃Oh yeah — that's due
Thursday； right？〃
〃Um； Wednesday； I think。〃
〃Wednesday？〃 He frowned。 〃That's not good… What are you writing yours on？〃
〃Whether Shakespeare's treatment of the female characters is
misogynistic。〃
He stared at me like I'd just spoken in pig Latin。
〃I guess I'll have to get to work on that tonight；〃 he said； deflated。 〃I
was going to ask if you wanted to go out。〃
〃Oh。〃 I was taken off guard。 Why couldn't I ever have a pleasant
conversation with Mike anymore without it getting awkward？
〃Well； we could go to dinner or something… and I could work on it later。〃
He smiled at me hopefully。
〃Mike…〃 I hated being put on the spot。 〃I don't think that would be the
best idea。〃
His face fell。 〃Why？〃 he asked； his eyes guarded。 My thoughts flickered
to Edward； wondering if that's where his thoughts were as well。
〃I think… and if you ever repeat what I'm saying right now I will
cheerfully beat you to death；〃 I threatened； 〃but I think that would hurt
Jessica's feelings。〃
He was bewildered； obviously not thinking in that direction at all。
〃Jessica？〃
〃Really； Mike； are you blind？〃
〃Oh；〃 he exhaled — clearly dazed。 I took advantage of that to make my
escape。
〃It's time for class； and I can't be late again。〃 I gathered my books up
and stuffed them in my bag。
We walked in silence to building three； and his expression was
distracted。 I hoped whatever thoughts he was immersed in were leading him
in the right direction。
When I saw Jessica in Trig； she was bubbling with enthusiasm。 She；
Angela； and Lauren were going to Port Angeles tonight to go dress
shopping for the dance； and she wanted me to e； too； even though I
didn't need one。 I was indecisive。 It would be nice to get out of town
with some girlfriends； but Lauren would be there。 And who knew what I
could be doing tonight… But that was definitely the wrong path to let my
mind wander down。 Of course I was happy about the sunlight。 But that
wasn't pletely responsible for the euphoric mood I was in； not even
close。
So I gave her a maybe； telling her I'd have to talk with Charlie first。
She talked of nothing but the dance on the way to Spanish； continuing as
if without an interruption when class finally ended； five minutes late；
and we were on our way to lunch。 I was far too lost in my own frenzy of
anticipation to notice much of what she said。 I was painfully eager to
see not just him but all the Cullens — to pare them with the new
suspicions that plagued my mind。 As I crossed the threshold of the
cafeteria； I felt the first true tingle of fear slither down my spine and
settle in my stomach。 Would they be able to know what I was thinking？ And
then a different feeling jolted through me — would Edward be waiting to
sit with me again？
As was my routine； I glanced first toward the Cullens' table。 A shiver of
panic trembled in my stomach as I realized it was empty。 With dwindling
hope； my eyes scoured the rest of the cafeteria； hoping to find him
alone； waiting for me。 The place was nearly filled — Spanish had made us
late — but there was no sign of Edward or any of his family。 Desolation
hit me with crippling strength。
I shambled along behind Jessica； not bothering to pretend to listen
anymore。
We were late enough that everyone was already at our table。 I avoided the
empty chair next to Mike in favor of one by Angela。 I vaguely noticed
that Mike held the chair out politely for Jessica； and that her face lit
up in response。
Angela asked a few quiet questions about the Macbeth paper； which I
answered as naturally as I could while spiralin