《1 twilight暮色》

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1 twilight暮色- 第46部分


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over; swiftly; but somehow still hesitantly; to sweep my hair back behind 

my shoulder。 

We were at the school by now。 He turned back to me as he pulled into a 
parking space。 

〃What music is in your CD player right now?〃 he asked; his face as somber 
as if he'd asked for a murder confession。 

I realized I'd never removed the CD Phil had given me。 When I said the 
name of the band; he smiled crookedly; a peculiar expression in his eyes。 
He flipped open a partment under his car's CD player; pulled out one 
of thirty or so CDs that were jammed into the small space; and handed it 
to me; 

〃Debussy to this?〃 He raised an eyebrow。 

It was the same CD。 I examined the familiar cover art; keeping my eyes 
down。 

It continued like that for the rest of the day。 While he walked me to 
English; when he met me after Spanish; all through the lunch hour; he 
questioned me relentlessly about every insignificant detail of my 
existence。 Movies I'd liked and hated; the few places I'd been and the 
many places I wanted to go; and books — endlessly books。 

I couldn't remember the last time I'd talked so much。 More often than 
not; I felt selfconscious; certain I must be boring him。 But the 
absolute absorption of his face; and his neverending stream of 
questions; pelled me to continue。 Mostly his questions were easy; only 
a very few triggering my easy blushes。 But when I did flush; it brought 
on a whole new round of questions。 

Such as the time he asked my favorite gemstone; and I blurted out topaz 
before thinking。 He'd been flinging questions at me with such speed that 
I felt like I was taking one of those psychiatric tests where you answer 
with the first word that es to mind。 I was sure he would have 
continued down whatever mental list he was following; except for the 
blush。 My face reddened because; until very recently; my favorite 
gemstone was gar。 It was impossible; while staring back into his topaz 
eyes; not to remember the reason for the switch。 And; naturally; he 
wouldn't rest until I'd admitted why I was embarrassed。 

〃Tell me;〃 he finally manded after persuasion failed — failed only 
because I kept my eyes safely away from his face。 

〃It's the color of your eyes today;〃 I sighed; surrendering; staring down 
at my hands as I fiddled with a piece of my hair。 〃I suppose if you asked 
me in two weeks I'd say onyx。〃 I'd given more information than necessary 
in my unwilling honesty; and I worried it would provoke the strange anger 
that flared whenever I slipped and revealed too clearly how obsessed I 
was。 

But his pause was very short。 

〃What kinds of flowers do you prefer?〃 he fired off。 

I sighed in relief; and continued with the psychoanalysis。 

Biology was a plication again。 Edward had continued with his quizzing 
up until Mr。 Banner entered the room; dragging the audiovisual frame 
again。 As the teacher approached the light switch; I noticed Edward slide 
his chair slightly farther away from mine。 It didn't help。 As soon as the 
room was dark; there was the same electric spark; the same restless 
craving to stretch my hand across the short space and touch his cold 
skin; as yesterday。 

I leaned forward on the table; resting my chin on my folded arms; my 
hidden fingers gripping the table's edge as I fought to ignore the 
irrational longing that unsettled me。 I didn't look at him; afraid that 
if he was looking at me; it would only make selfcontrol that much 
harder。 I sincerely tried to watch the movie; but at the end of the hour 
I had no idea what I'd just seen。 I sighed in relief again when Mr。 

Banner turned the lights on; finally glancing at Edward; he was looking 
at me; his eyes ambivalent。 

He rose in silence and then stood still; waiting for me。 We walked toward 
the gym in silence; like yesterday。 And; also like yesterday; he touched 
my face wordlessly — this time with the back of his cool hand; stroking 
once from my temple to my jaw — before he turned and walked away。 

Gym passed quickly as I watched Mike's oneman badminton show。 He didn't 
speak to me today; either in response to my vacant expression or because 
he was still angry about our squabble yesterday。 Somewhere; in a corner 
of my mind; I felt bad about that。 But I couldn't concentrate on him。 

I hurried to change afterward; ill at ease; knowing the faster I moved; 
the sooner I would be with Edward。 The pressure made me more clumsy than 
usual; but eventually I made it out the door; feeling the same release 
when I saw him standing there; a wide smile automatically spreading 
across my face。 He smiled in reaction before launching into more 
crossexamination。 

His questions were different now; though; not as easily answered。 He 
wanted to know what I missed about home; insisting on descriptions of 
anything he wasn't familiar with。 We sat in front of Charlie's house for 
hours; as the sky darkened and rain plummeted around us in a sudden 
deluge。 

I tried to describe impossible things like the scent of creosote — 
bitter; slightly resinous; but still pleasant — the high; keening sound 
of the cicadas in July; the feathery barrenness of the trees; the very 
size of the sky; extending whiteblue from horizon to horizon; barely 
interrupted by the low mountains covered with purple volcanic rock。 The 
hardest thing to explain was why it was so beautiful to me — to justify a 
beauty that didn't depend on the sparse; spiny vegetation that often 
looked half dead; a beauty that had more to do with the exposed shape of 
the land; with the shallow bowls of valleys between the craggy hills; and 
the way they held on to the sun。 I found myself using my hands as I tried 
to describe it to him。 

His quiet; probing questions kept me talking freely; forgetting; in the 
dim light of the storm; to be embarrassed for monopolizing the 
conversation。 Finally; when I had finished detailing my cluttered room at 
home; he paused instead of responding with another question。 

〃Are you finished?〃 I asked in relief。 

〃Not even close — but your father will be home soon。〃 

〃Charlie!〃 I suddenly recalled his existence; and sighed。 I looked out at 
the raindarkened sky; but it gave nothing away。 〃How late is it?〃 I 
wondered out loud as I glanced at the clock。 I was surprised by the time 
— Charlie would be driving home now。 

〃It's twilight;〃 Edward murmured; looking at the western horizon; 
obscured as it was with clouds。 His voice was thoughtful; as if his mind 
were somewhere far away。 I stared at him as he gazed unseeingly out the 
windshield。 

I was still staring when his eyes suddenly shifted back to mine。 

〃It's the safest time of day for us;〃 he said; answering the unspoken 
question in my eyes。 〃The easiest time。 But also the saddest; in a way… 
the end of another day; the return of the night。 Darkness is so 
predictable; don't you think?〃 He smiled wistfully。 

〃I like the night。 Without the dark; we'd never see the stars。〃 I 
frowned。 〃Not that you see them here much。〃 

He laughed; and the mood abruptly lightened。 

〃Charlie will be here in a few minutes。 So; unless you want to tell him 
tha

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