fringe of ferns into the loveliest place I had ever seen。 The meadow was
small； perfectly round； and filled with wildflowers — violet； yellow； and
soft white。 Somewhere nearby； I could hear the bubbling music of a
stream。 The sun was directly overhead； filling the circle with a haze of
buttery sunshine。 I walked slowly； awestruck； through the soft grass；
swaying flowers； and warm； gilded air。 I halfway turned； wanting to share
this with him； but he wasn't behind me where I thought he'd be。 I spun
around； searching for him with sudden alarm。 Finally I spotted him； still
under the dense shade of the canopy at the edge of the hollow； watching
me with cautious eyes。 Only then did I remember what the beauty of the
meadow had driven from my mind — the enigma of Edward and the sun； which
he'd promised to illustrate for me today。
I took a step back toward him； my eyes alight with curiosity。 His eyes
were wary； reluctant。 I smiled encouragingly and beckoned to him with my
hand； taking another step back to him。 He held up a hand in warning； and
I hesitated； rocking back onto my heels。
Edward seemed to take a deep breath； and then he stepped out into the
bright glow of the midday sun。
===========================================================================
13。 CONFESSIONS
Edward in the sunlight was shocking。 I couldn't get used to it； though
I'd been staring at him all afternoon。 His skin； white despite the faint
flush from yesterday's hunting trip； literally sparkled； like thousands
of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface。 He lay perfectly still in
the grass； his shirt open over his sculpted； incandescent chest； his
scintillating arms bare。 His glistening； pale lavender lids were shut；
though of course he didn't sleep。 A perfect statue； carved in some
unknown stone； smooth like marble； glittering like crystal。
Now and then； his lips would move； so fast it looked like they were
trembling。 But； when I asked； he told me he was singing to himself； it
was too low for me to hear。
I enjoyed the sun； too； though the air wasn't quite dry enough for my
taste。 I would have liked to lie back； as he did； and let the sun warm my
face。 But I stayed curled up； my chin resting on my knees； unwilling to
take my eyes off him。 The wind was gentle； it tangled my hair and ruffled
the grass that swayed around his motionless form。
The meadow； so spectacular to me at first； paled next to his magnificence。
Hesitantly； always afraid； even now； that he would disappear like a
mirage； too beautiful to be real… hesitantly； I reached out one finger
and stroked the back of his shimmering hand； where it lay within my
reach。 I marveled again at the perfect texture； satin smooth； cool as
stone。 When I looked up again； his eyes were open； watching me。
Butterscotch today； lighter； warmer after hunting。 His quick smile turned
up the corners of his flawless lips。
〃I don't scare you？〃 he asked playfully； but I could hear the real
curiosity in his soft voice。
〃No more than usual。〃
He smiled wider； his teeth flashed in the sun。
I inched closer； stretched out my whole hand now to trace the contours of
his forearm with my fingertips。 I saw that my fingers trembled； and knew
it wouldn't escape his notice。
〃Do you mind？〃 I asked； for he had closed his eyes again。
〃No；〃 he said without opening his eyes。 〃You can't imagine how that
feels。〃 He sighed。
I lightly trailed my hand over the perfect muscles of his arm； followed
the faint pattern of bluish veins inside the crease at his elbow。 With my
other hand； I reached to turn his hand over。 Realizing what I wished； he
flipped his palm up in one of those blindingly fast； disconcerting
movements of his。 It startled me； my fingers froze on his arm for a brief
second。
〃Sorry；〃 he murmured。 I looked up in time to see his golden eyes close
again。 〃It's too easy to be myself with you。〃
I lifted his hand； turning it this way and that as I watched the sun
glitter on his palm。 I held it closer to my face； trying to see the
hidden facets in his skin。
〃Tell me what you're thinking；〃 he whispered。 I looked to see his eyes
watching me； suddenly intent。 〃It's still so strange for me； not knowing。〃
〃You know； the rest of us feel that way all the time。〃
〃It's a hard life。〃 Did I imagine the hint of regret in his tone？ 〃But
you didn't tell me。〃
〃I was wishing I could know what you were thinking…〃 I hesitated。
〃And？〃
〃I was wishing that I could believe that you were real。 And I was wishing
that I wasn't afraid。〃
〃I don't want you to be afraid。〃 His voice was just a soft murmur。 I
heard what he couldn't truthfully say； that I didn't need to be afraid；
that there was nothing to fear。
〃Well； that's not exactly the fear I meant； though that's certainly
something to think about。〃
So quickly that I missed his movement； he was half sitting； propped up on
his right arm； his left palm still in my hands。 His angel's face was only
a few inches from mine。 I might have — should have — flinched away from
his unexpected closeness； but I was unable to move。 His golden eyes
mesmerized me。
〃What are you afraid of； then？〃 he whispered intently。
But I couldn't answer。 As I had just that once before； I smelled his cool
breath in my face。 Sweet； delicious； the scent made my mouth water。 It
was unlike anything else。 Instinctively； unthinkingly； I leaned closer；
inhaling。
And he was gone； his hand ripped from mine。 In the time it took my eyes
to focus； he was twenty feet away； standing at the edge of the small
meadow； in the deep shade of a huge fir tree。 He stared at me； his eyes
dark in the shadows； his expression unreadable。
I could feel the hurt and shock on my face。 My empty hands stung。
〃I'm… sorry… Edward；〃 I whispered。 I knew he could hear。
〃Give me a moment；〃 he called； just loud enough for my less sensitive
ears。 I sat very still。
After ten incredibly long seconds； he walked back； slowly for him。 He
stopped； still several feet away； and sank gracefully to the ground；
crossing his legs。 His eyes never left mine。 He took two deep breaths；
and then smiled in apology。
〃I am so very sorry。〃 He hesitated。 〃Would you understand what I meant if
I said I was only human？〃
I nodded once； not quite able to smile at his joke。 Adrenaline pulsed
through my veins as the realization of danger slowly sank in。 He could
smell that from where he sat。 His smile turned mocking。
〃I'm the world's best predator； aren't I？ Everything about me invites you
in — my voice； my face； even my smell。 As if I need any of that！〃
Unexpectedly； he was on his feet； bounding away； instantly out of sight；
only to appear beneath the same tree as before； having circled the meadow
in half a second。
〃As if you could outrun me；〃 he laughed bitterly。
He reached up with one hand and； with a deafening crack； effortlessly
ripped a twofootthick branch from the trunk of the spruce。 He balanced
it in that hand for a moment； and then threw it with blinding speed；
shattering it against another hug