《[夜与日].(night.and.day).(英)弗吉尼亚·伍尔芙.文字版》

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[夜与日].(night.and.day).(英)弗吉尼亚·伍尔芙.文字版- 第34部分


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through sandy deserts under a tropical sun to find the 
source of some river or the haunt of some fly; she figured 
him living by the labor of his hands in some city slum; the 
victim of one of those terrible theories of right and wrong 
which were current at the time; she figured him prisoner 
for life in the house of a woman who had seduced him by 
her misfortunes。 Half proudly; and wholly anxiously; she 
framed such thoughts; as they sat; late at night; talking 
together over the gasstove in Ralph’s bedroom。 

It is likely that Ralph would not have recognized his 
own dream of a future in the forecasts which disturbed 
his sister’s peace of mind。 Certainly; if any one of them 
had been put before him he would have rejected it with a 
laugh; as the sort of life that held no attractions for him。 
He could not have said how it was that he had put these 
absurd notions into his sister’s head。 Indeed; he prided 
himself upon being well broken into a life of hard work; 
about which he had no sort of illusions。 His vision of his 
own future; unlike many such forecasts; could have been 

made public at any moment without a blush; he attributed 
to himself a strong brain; and conferred on himself 
a seat in the House of mons at the age of fifty; a 
moderate fortune; and; with luck; an unimportant office 
in a Liberal Government。 There was nothing extravagant 
in a forecast of that kind; and certainly nothing dishonorable。 
Nevertheless; as his sister guessed; it needed all 
Ralph’s strength of will; together with the pressure of 
circumstances; to keep his feet moving in the path which 
led that way。 It needed; in particular; a constant repetition 
of a phrase to the effect that he shared the mon 
fate; found it best of all; and wished for no other; and by 
repeating such phrases he acquired punctuality and habits 
of work; and could very plausibly demonstrate that to 
be a clerk in a solicitor’s office was the best of all possible 
lives; and that other ambitions were vain。 

But; like all beliefs not genuinely held; this one depended 
very much upon the amount of acceptance it received 
from other people; and in private; when the pressure 
of public opinion was removed; Ralph let himself 
swing very rapidly away from his actual circumstances 

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upon strange voyages which; indeed; he would have been 
ashamed to describe。 In these dreams; of course; he figured 
in noble and romantic parts; but selfglorification 
was not the only motive of them。 They gave outlet to 
some spirit which found no work to do in real life; for; 
with the pessimism which his lot forced upon him; Ralph 
had made up his mind that there was no use for what; 
contemptuously enough; he called dreams; in the world 
which we inhabit。 It sometimes seemed to him that this 
spirit was the most valuable possession he had; he thought 
that by means of it he could set flowering waste tracts of 
the earth; cure many ills; or raise up beauty where none 
now existed; it was; too; a fierce and potent spirit which 
would devour the dusty books and parchments on the 
office wall with one lick of its tongue; and leave him in a 
minute standing in nakedness; if he gave way to it。 His 
endeavor; for many years; had been to control the spirit; 
and at the age of twentynine he thought he could pride 
himself upon a life rigidly divided into the hours of work 
and those of dreams; the two lived side by side without 
harming each other。 As a matter of fact; this effort at 

discipline had been helped by the interests of a difficult 
profession; but the old conclusion to which Ralph had 
e when he left college still held sway in his mind; 
and tinged his views with the melancholy belief that life 
for most people pels the exercise of the lower gifts 
and wastes the precious ones; until it forces us to agree 
that there is little virtue; as well as little profit; in what 
once seemed to us the noblest part of our inheritance。 

Denham was not altogether popular either in his office 
or among his family。 He was too positive; at this stage of 
his career; as to what was right and what wrong; too 
proud of his selfcontrol; and; as is natural in the case of 
persons not altogether happy or well suited in their conditions; 
too apt to prove the folly of contentment; if he 
found any one who confessed to that weakness。 In the 
office his rather ostentatious efficiency annoyed those 
who took their own work more lightly; and; if they foretold 
his advancement; it was not altogether sympathetically。 
Indeed; he appeared to be rather a hard and self
sufficient young man; with a queer temper; and manners 
that were unpromisingly abrupt; who was consumed 

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Night and Day 

with a desire to get on in the world; which was natural; 
these critics thought; in a man of no means; but not 
engaging。 

The young men in the office had a perfect right to these 
opinions; because Denham showed no particular desire 
for their friendship。 He liked them well enough; but shut 
them up in that partment of life which was devoted 
to work。 Hitherto; indeed; he had found little difficulty 
in arranging his life as methodically as he arranged his 
expenditure; but about this time he began to encounter 
experiences which were not so easy to classify。 Mary 
Datchet had begun this confusion two years ago by bursting 
into laughter at some remark of his; almost the first 
time they met。 She could not explain why it was。 She 
thought him quite astonishingly odd。 When he knew her 
well enough to tell her how he spent Monday and Wednesday 
and Saturday; she was still more amused; she laughed 
till he laughed; too; without knowing why。 It seemed to 
her very odd that he should know as much about breeding 
bulldogs as any man in England; that he had a collection 
of wild flowers found near London; and his weekly 

visit to old Miss Trotter at Ealing; who was an authority 
upon the science of Heraldry; never failed to excite her 
laughter。 She wanted to know everything; even the kind of 
cake which the old lady supplied on these occasions; and 
their summer excursions to churches in the neighborhood 
of London for the purpose of taking rubbings of the brasses 
became most important festivals; from the interest she 
took in them。 In six months she knew more about his odd 
friends and hobbies than his own brothers and sisters knew; 
after living with him all his life; and Ralph found this very 
pleasant; though disordering; for his own view of himself 
had always been profoundly serious。 

Certainly it was very pleasant to be with Mary Datchet 
and to bee; directly the door was shut; quite a different 
sort of person; eccentric and lovable; with scarcely any 
likeness to the self most people knew。 He became less 
serious; and rather less dictatorial at home; for he was apt 
to hear Mary laughing at him; and telling him; as she was 
fond of doing; that he knew nothing at all about anything。 
She made him; also; take an interest in public questions; 
for which she had a natural liking; and was in process of 

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turning hi

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