Noah�察�wherever you are and whenever you read this�察�I love you。 I love you deeply�察�my husband。 You are�察�and always have been�察�my dream。
Allie
I put the letter aside�察�rise from my desk and find my slippers。 I must sit to put them on。 Then�察�standing�察�I cross the room and open my door。 I peep down the hall and see Janice seated at the main desk which I must pass to get to Allie's room。 At this hour I am not supposed to leave my room�察�and Janice is never one to bend the rules。
I wait to see if she will leave�察�but she does not and I grow impatient。 I finally exit my room anyway�察�slow´shuffle�察�slide´the´right�察�slow´shuffle。 It takes aeons to close the distance�察�but for some reason she does not see me approaching。 I am a silent panther creeping through the jungle。 In the end I am discovered�察�but I am not surprised。 I stand before her。
;Noah�察─�she says�察 �what are you doing�拭�
;I'm taking a walk�察─�I say。 ;I can't sleep。;
;You know you're not supposed to do this。;
;I know。; I don't move�察�though。 I am determined。
;You're not really going for a walk�察�are you�拭�You're going to see Allie。;
;Yes�察─�I answer。
;Noah�察�you know what happened the last time you saw her at night。 You shouldn't be doing this。;
;I miss her。;
;I know you do�察�but I can't let you see her。;
;It's our anniversary�察─�I say。 This is true。 It is one year before gold。 Forty´nine years today。
;I see。; She looks away for a moment�察�and her voice bees softer。 I am surprised。 She has never struck me as the sentimental type。 ;Noah�察�I've seen hundreds of couples struggle with grief�察�but I've never seen anyone handle it like you do。 No one around here has ever seen anything like it。; She pauses for just a moment and her eyes begin to fill with tears。 ;I try to think what it's like for you�察�how you keep going day after day�察�but I can't imagine it。 I don't know how you do it。 You even beat her disease sometimes。 Even though the doctors don't understand it�察�we nurses do。 It's love!it's as simple as that。 It's the most incredible thing I've ever seen。;
A lump has risen in my throat�察�and I am speechless。
;But�察�Noah�察�you're not supposed to do this�察�and I can't let you。 So go back to your room。; Then�察�smiling�察�sniffling and shuffling some papers�察�she says�此 �Me�察�I'm going downstairs for some Coffee。 I won't be back to check on you for a while�察�so don't do anything foolish。;
She rises quickly�察�touches my arm and walks towards the stairs。 She doesn't look back and suddenly I am alone。 I look at where she had been sitting and see her Coffee�察�a full cup�察�still steaming�察�and once again I learn that there are good people in the world。
As I begin my trek to Allie's room�察�I take tiny steps�察�and even at that pace my legs grow tired。 I find I must touch the wall to keep from falling down。 Lights buzz overhead�察�their fluorescent glow making my eyes ache�察�and I squint a little。 I press on�察�and the movement forces blood through banished arteries。 I feel myself being stronger with every step。 A phone rings in the nurses' station�察�and I push forward so that I will not be caught。 I am young and strong�察�with passion in my heart�察�and I will break down the door and lift her in my arms and carry her to paradise。
Who am I kidding�拭�I lead a simple life now。 I am foolish�察�an old man in love�察�a dreamer who dreams of nothing but reading to Allie and holding her whenever I can。 I am a sinner with many faults and a man who believes in magic�察�but I am too old to change and too old to care。
When I finally reach her room my body is weak。 My legs wobble�察�my eyes are blurred。 I struggle with the knob and in the end it takes two hands and three truckloads of effort。 The door opens and light from the hallway spills in�察�illuminating the bed where she sleeps。
She is lying with the covers halfway up。 After a moment I see her roll to one side�察�and her noises bring back memories of happier times。 She looks small in her bed。
I do not move�察�on this our anniversary�察�for almost a minute�察�and I long to tell her how I feel�察�but I stay quiet so I won't wake her。 Besides�察�it is written on the slip of paper that I will slide under her pillow。 It says��
Love�察�in these last and tender hours��
is sensitive and very pure
e morning light with soft´lit powers
to awaken love that's ever sure。
I think I hear someone ing�察�so I enter her room and close the door behind me。 Blackness descends and I cross her floor from memory and reach the window。 I open the curtains�察�and the moon stares back�察�large and full�察�the guardian of the evening。 Though I know I should not�察�I sit on her bed while I slip the note beneath her pillow。 Then I reach across and gently touch her face。 I stroke her hair�察�and I feel wonder�察�like a poser first discovering the works of Mozart。 She stirs and opens her eyes and I suddenly regret my foolishness�察�for I know she will begin to cry and scream�察�for this is what she always does。 But I feel an urge to attempt the impossible and lean towards her�察�our faces drawing closer。
When her lips meet mine�察�I feel a tingling I have never felt before�察�in all our years together�察�but I do not pull back。 And suddenly a miracle�察�for I feel her mouth open and I discover a forgotten paradise�察�unchanged all this time�察�ageless like the stars。 I feel the warmth of her body and allow myself to slip away�察�as I did so many years ago。 I close my eyes and bee a mighty ship in churning waters�察�strong and fearless�察�and she is my sails。 I gently trace the outline of her cheek�察�then take her hand in mine。 I kiss her lips�察�her cheeks�察�and listen as she takes a breath。 She murmurs softly�察 �Oh�察�Noah 。 。 。 I've missed you。; Another miracle!the greatest of all� �and there's no way I can stop the tears as we begin to slip towards heaven itself。 For at that moment�察�the world is full of wonder as I feel her fingers reach for the buttons on my shirt and slowly�察�ever so slowly�察�she begins to undo them one by one。
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