4 breaking dawn破晓- 第6部分

He　couldn't　see　into　my　mind；　though；　the　way　he　saw　into　everyone　else's。　Who　knew　why—some　
strange　glitch　in　my　brain　that　made　it　immune　to　all　the　extraordinary　and　frightening　things　some　
immortals　could　do。　（Only　my　mind　was　immune；　my　body　was　still　subject　to　vampires　with　abilities　that　
worked　in　ways　other　than　Edward's。）　But　I　was　seriously　grateful　to　whatever　malfunction　it　was　that　
kept　my　thoughts　a　secret。　It　was　just　too　embarrassing　to　consider　the　alternative。　

I　pulled　his　face　to　mine　again。　

〃Definitely　staying；〃　he　murmured　a　moment　later。　

〃No；　no。　It's　your　bachelor　party。　You　have　to　go。〃　




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I　said　the　words；　but　the　fingers　of　my　right　hand　locked　into　his　bronze　hair；　my　left　pressed　tighter　
against　the　small　of　his　back。　His　cool　hands　stroked　my　face。　

〃Bachelor　parties　are　designed　for　those　who　are　sad　to　see　the　passing　of　their　single　days。　I　couldn't　be　
more　eager　to　have　mine　behind　me。　So　there's　really　no　point。〃　

〃True。〃　I　breathed　against　the　wintercold　skin　of　his　throat。　

This　was　pretty　close　to　my　happy　place。　Charlie　slept　obliviously　in　his　room；　which　was　almost　as　
good　as　being　alone。　We　were　curled　up　on　my　small　bed；　intertwined　as　much　as　it　was　possible；　
considering　the　thick　afghan　I　was　swathed　in　like　a　cocoon。　I　hated　the　necessity　of　the　blanket；　but　it　
sort　of　ruined　the　romance　when　my　teeth　started　chattering。　Charlie　would　notice　if　I　turned　the　heat　on　
in　August___　

At　least；　if　　had　to　be　bundled　up；　Edward's　shirt　was　on　the　floor。　I　never　got　over　the　shock　of　how　
perfect　his　body　was—white；　cool；　and　polished　as　marble。　I　ran　my　hand　down　his　stone　chest　now；　
tracing　across　the　flat　planes　of　his　stomach；　just　marveling。　A　light　shudder　rippled　through　him；　and　his　
mouth　found　mine　again。　Carefully；　I　let　the　tip　of　my　tongue　press　against　his　glasssmooth　lip；　and　he　
sighed。　His　sweet　breath　washed—cold　and　delicious—over　my　face。　

He　started　to　pull　away—that　was　his　automatic　response　whenever　he　decided　things　had　gone　too　far；　
his　reflex　reaction　whenever　he　most　wanted　to　keep　going。　Edward　had　spent　most　of　his　life　rejecting　
any　kind　of　physical　gratification。　I　knew　it　was　terrifying　to　him　trying　to　change　those　habits　now。　

〃Wait；〃　I　said；　gripping　his　shoulders　and　hugging　myself　close　to　him。　I　kicked　one　leg　free　and　wrapped　
it　around　his　waist。　〃Practice　makes　perfect。〃　

He　chuckled。　〃Well；　we　should　be　fairly　close　to　perfection　by　this　point；　then；　shouldn't　we？　Have　you　
slept　at　all　in　the　last　month？〃　

〃But　this　is　the　dress　rehearsal；〃　I　reminded　him；　〃and　we've　only　practiced　certain　scenes。　It's　no　time　
for　playing　safe。〃　

I　thought　he　would　laugh；　but　he　didn't　answer；　and　his　body　was　motionless　with　sudden　stress。　The　
gold　in　his　eyes　seemed　to　harden　from　a　liquid　to　a　solid。　

I　thought　over　my　words；　realized　what　he　would　have　heard　in　them。　

〃Bella。。。；〃　he　whispered。　

〃Don't　start　this　again；〃　I　said。　〃A　deal's　a　deal。〃　

〃I　don't　know。　It's　too　hard　to　concentrate　when　you're　with　me　like　this。　I—I　can't　think　straight。　I　won't　
be　able　to　control　myself。　You'll　get　hurt。〃　

〃I'll　be　fine。〃　

〃Bella　。　。。〃　

〃Shh！〃　I　pressed　my　lips　to　his　to　stop　his　panic　attack。　I'd　heard　it　before。　He　wasn't　getting　out　of　this　
deal。　Not　after　insisting　I　marry　him　first。　



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He　kissed　me　back　for　a　moment；　but　I　could　tell　he　wasn't　as　into　it　as　before。　Worrying；　always　
worrying。　How　different　it　would　be　when　he　didn't　need　to　worry　about　me　anymore。　What　would　he　do　
with　all　his　free　time？　He'd　have　to　get　a　new　hobby。　

〃How　are　your　feet？〃　he　asked。　

Knowing　he　didn't　mean　that　literally；　I　answered；　Toasty　warm。〃　

〃Really？　No　second　thoughts？　It's　not　too　late　to　change　your　mind。〃　

〃Are　you　trying　to　ditch　me？〃　

He　chuckled。　〃Just　making　sure。　I　don't　want　you　to　do　anything　you're　not　sure　about。〃　

〃I'm　sure　about　you。　The　rest　I　can　live　through。〃　

He　hesitated；　and　I　wondered　if　I'd　put　my　foot　in　my　mouth　again。　

〃Can　you？〃　he　asked　quietly。　〃I　don't　mean　the　wedding—which　I　am　positive　you　will　survive　despite　
your　qualms—but　afterward。。。　what　about　Renee；　what　about　Charlie？〃　

I　sighed。　〃I'll　miss　them。〃　Worse；　that　they　would　miss　me；　but　I　didn't　want　to　give　him　any　fuel。　

〃Angela　and　Ben　and　Jessica　and　Mike。〃　

〃I'll　miss　my　friends；　too。〃　I　smiled　in　the　darkness。　〃Especially　Mike。　Oh；　Mike！　How　will　I　go　on？〃　

He　growled。　

I　laughed　but　then　was　serious。　〃Edward；　we've　been　through　this　and　through　this。　I　know　it　will　be　
hard；　but　this　is　what　I　want。　I　want　you；　and　I　want　you　forever。　One　lifetime　is　simply　not　enough　for　
me。〃　

〃Frozen　forever　at　eighteen；〃　he　whispered。　

〃Every　woman's　dream　e　true；〃　I　teased。　

〃Never　changing。。。　never　moving　forward。〃　

〃What　does　that　mean？〃　

He　answered　slowly。　〃Do　you　remember　when　we　told　Charlie　we　were　getting　married？　And　he　
thought　you　were。。。　pregnant？〃　

〃And　he　thought　about　shooting　you；〃　I　guessed　with　a　laugh。　〃Admit　it—for　one　second；　he　honestly　
considered　it。〃　

He　didn't　answer。　

〃What；　Edward？〃　



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〃I　just　wish。。。　well；　I　wish　that　he'd　been　right。〃　

〃Gah；〃　I　gasped。　

〃More　that　there　was　some　way　he　could　have　been。　That　we　had　that　kind　of　potential。　I　hate　taking　
that　away　from　you；　too。〃　

It　took　me　a　minute。　〃I　know　what　I'm　doinq。〃　

〃How　could　you　know　that；　Bella？　Look　at　my　mother；　look　at　my　sister。　It's　not　as　easy　a　sacrifice　as　
youimagine。〃　

〃Esme　and　Rosalie　get　by　just　fine。　If　it's　a　problem　later；　we　can　do　what　Esme　did—we'll　adopt。〃　

He　sighed；　and　then　his　voice　was　fierce。　〃It's　not　right　I　don't　want　you　to　have　to　make　sacrifices　for　
me。　I　want　to　give　you　things；　not　take　things　away　from　you。　I　don't　want　to　steal　your　future。　If　I　were　
human—〃　

I　put　my　hand　over　his　lips。　〃You　are　my　future。　Now　stop。　No　moping；　or　I'm　calling　your　brothers　to　
e　and　get　you。　Maybe　you　need　a　bachelor　party。〃　

〃I'm　sorry。　I　am　moping；　aren't　I？　Must　be　the　nerves。〃　

〃Are　your　feet　cold？〃　

〃Not　in　that　sense。　I've　been　waiting　a　century　to　marry　you；　Miss　Swan。　The　wedding　ceremony　is　the　
one　thing　I　can't　wait—〃　He　broke　off　midthought。　〃Oh；　for　the　love　of　all　that's　holy！〃　

〃What's　wrong？〃　

He　gritted　his　teeth。　〃You　don't　have　to　call　my　brothers。　Apparently　Emmett　and　Jasper　are　not　going　to　
let　me　bow　out　tonight。〃　

I　clutched　him　closer　for　one　second　and　then　released　him。　I　didn't　have　a　prayer　of　winning　a　
tugofwar　with　Emmett。　〃Have　fun。〃　

There　was　a　squeal　against　the　window—someone　deliberately　scraping　their　steel　nails　across　the　glass　
to　make　a　horrible；　coveryourears；　goosebumpsdownyourspine　noise。　I　shuddered。　

〃If　you　don't　send　Edward　out；〃　Emmett—still　invisible　in　the　night—hissed　menacingly；　〃we're　ing　in　
after　him！〃