红字-the scarlet letter(英文版)- 第49部分

gue　of　Pentecostwere　speaking！…　and　then　look　inward；　and　discern　the　black　reality　ofwhat　they　idolise？　I　have　laughed；　in　bitterness　and　agony　of　heart；at　the　contrast　between　what　I　seem　and　what　I　am！　And　Satan　laughs　atit！〃　　〃You　wrong　yourself　in　this；〃　said　Hester　gently。　〃You　have　deeplyand　sorely　repented。　Your　sin　is　left　behind　you；　in　the　days　longpast。　Your　present　life　is　not　less　holy；　in　very　truth；　than　it　seemsin　people's　eyes。　Is　there　no　reality　in　the　penitence　thus　sealed　andwitnessed　by　good　works？　And　wherefore　should　it　not　bring　you　peace？〃　　〃No；　Hester；　no！〃　replied　the　clergyman。　〃There　is　no　substance　init！　It　is　cold　and　dead；　and　can　do　nothing　for　me！　Of　penance；　I　havehad　enough！　Of　penitence；　there　has　been　none！　Else；　I　should　long　agohave　thrown　off　these　garments　of　mock　holiness；　and　have　shown　myselfto　mankind　as　they　will　see　me　at　the　judgment…seat。　Happy　are　you；Hester；　that　wear　the　scarlet　letter　openly　upon　your　bosom！　Mineburns　in　secret！　Thou　little　knowest　what　a　relief　it　is；　after　thetorment　of　a　seven　years'　cheat；　to　look　into　an　eye　that　recognisesme　for　what　I　am！　Had　I　one　friend…　or　were　it　my　worst　enemy！…　towhom；　when　sickened　with　the　praises　of　all　other　men；　I　could　dailybetake　myself；　and　be　known　as　the　vilest　of　all　sinners；　methinksmy　soul　might　keep　itself　alive　thereby。　Even　thus　much　of　truth　wouldsave　me！　But；　now；　it　is　all　falsehood！…　all　emptiness！…　all　death！〃　　Hester　Prynne　looked　into　his　face；　but　hesitated　to　speak。　Yet；uttering　his　long…restrained　emotions　so　vehemently　as　he　did；　hiswords　here　offered　her　the　very　point　of　circumstances　in　which　tointerpose　what　she　came　to　say。　She　conquered　her　fears；　and　spoke。　　〃Such　a　friend　as　thou　hast　even　now　wished　for；〃　said　she；　〃withwhom　to　weep　over　thy　sin；　thou　has　in　me；　the　partner　of　it！〃　Againshe　hesitated；　but　brought　out　the　words　with　an　effort；　〃Thou　hastlong　had　such　an　enemy；　and　dwellest　with　him；　under　the　same　roof！〃　　The　minister　started　to　his　feet；　gasping　for　breath；　andclutching　at　his　heart；　as　if　he　would　have　torn　it　out　of　his　bosom。　　〃Ha！　What　sayest　thou！〃　cried　he。　〃An　enemy！　And　under　mine　ownroof！　What　mean　you？〃　　Hester　Prynne　was　now　fully　sensible　of　the　deep　injury　for　whichshe　was　responsible　to　this　unhappy　man；　in　permitting　him　to　liefor　so　many　years；　or；　indeed；　for　a　single　moment；　at　the　mercy　ofone　whose　purposes　could　not　be　other　than　malevolent。　The　verycontiguity　of　his　enemy；　beneath　whatever　mask　the　latter　mightconceal　himself；　was　enough　to　disturb　the　magic　sphere　of　abeing　so　sensitive　as　Arthur　Dimmesdale。　There　had　been　a　periodwhen　Hester　was　less　alive　to　this　consideration；　or；　perhaps；　inthe　misanthropy　of　her　own　trouble；　she　left　the　minister　to　bear　whatshe　might　picture　to　herself　as　a　more　tolerable　doom。　But　of　late；since　the　night　of　his　vigil；　all　her　sympathies　towards　him　hadbeen　both　softened　and　invigorated。　She　now　read　his　heart　moreaccurately。　She　doubted　not；　that　the　continual　presence　of　RogerChillingworth　the　secret　poison　of　his　malignity；　infecting　all　theair　about　him…　and　his　authorised　interference；　as　a　physician；　withthe　minister's　physical　and　spiritual　infirmities…　that　these　badopportunities　had　been　turned　to　a　cruel　purpose。　By　means　of　them；the　sufferer's　conscience　had　been　kept　in　an　irritated　state；　thetendency　of　which　was；　not　to　cure　by　wholesome　pain；　but　todisorganise　and　corrupt　his　spiritual　being。　Its　result；　on　earth；could　hardly　fail　to　be　insanity；　and　hereafter；　that　eternalalienation　from　the　Good　and　True；　of　which　madness　is　perhaps　theearthly　type。　　Such　was　the　ruin　to　which　she　had　brought　the　man；　once…　nay；　whyshould　we　not　speak　it？…　still　so　passionately　loved！　Hester　felt　thatthe　sacrifice　of　the　clergyman's　good　name；　and　death　itself；　as　shehad　already　told　Roger　Chillingworth；　would　have　been　infinitelypreferable　to　the　alternative　which　she　had　taken　upon　herself　tochoose。　And　now；　rather　than　have　had　this　grievous　wrong　toconfess；　she　would　gladly　have　lain　down　on　the　forest…leaves；　anddied　there；　at　Arthur　Dimmesdale's　feet。　　〃O　Arthur；〃　cried　she；　〃forgive　me！　In　all　things　else；　I　havestriven　to　be　true！　Truth　was　the　one　virtue　which　I　might　have　heldfast；　and　did　hold　fast；　through　all　extremity；　save　when　thy　good…thy　life　thy　fame…　were　put　in　question！　Then　I　consented　to　adeception。　But　a　lie　is　never　good；　even　though　death　threaten　onthe　other　side！　Dost　thou　not　see　what　I　would　say？　That　old　man！…　thephysician！…　he　whom　they　call　Roger　Chillingworth！…　he　was　myhusband！〃　　The　minister　looked　at　her；　for　an　instant；　with　all　that　violenceof　passion；　which…　intermixed；　in　more　shapes　than　one；　with　hishigher；　purer；　softer　qualities…　was；　in　fact；　the　portion　of　himwhich　the　Devil　claimed；　and　through　which　he　sought　to　win　therest。　Never　was　there　a　blacker　or　a　fiercer　frown　than　Hester　nowencountered。　For　the　brief　space　that　it　lasted；　it　was　a　darktransfiguration。　But　his　character　had　been　so　much　enfeebled　bysuffering；　that　even　its　lower　energies　were　incapable　of　more　thana　temporary　struggle。　He　sank　down　on　the　ground；　and　buried　hisface　in　his　hands。　　〃I　might　have　known　it；〃　murmured　he。　〃I　did　know　it！　Was　not　thesecret　told　me；　in　the　natural　recoil　of　my　heart；　at　the　firstsight　of　him；　and　as　often　as　I　have　seen　him　since？　Why　did　I　notunderstand？　O　Hester　Prynne；　thou　little；　little　knowest　all　thehorror　of　this　thing！　And　the　shame！…　the　indelicacy！…　the　horribleugliness　of　this　exposure　of　a　sick　and　guilty　heart　to　the　very　eyethat　would　gloat　over　it？　Woman；　woman；　thou　are　accountable　for　this！I　cannot　forgive　thee！〃　　〃Thou　shalt　forgive　me！〃　cried　Hester；　flinging　herself　on　thefallen　leaves　beside　him。　〃Let　God　punish！　Thou　shalt　forgive！〃　　With　sudden　and　desperate　tenderness；　she　threw　her　arms　around　him；and　pressed　his　head　against　her　bosom；　little　caring　though　his　cheekrested　on　the　scarlet　letter。　He　would　have　released　himself；　butstrove　in　vain　to　do　so。　Hester　would　not　set　him　free；　lest　he　shouldlook　her　sternly　in　the　face。　All　the　world　had　frowned　on　her…　forseven　long　years　had　it　frowned　upon　this　lonely　woman…　and　stillshe　bore　it　all；　nor　ever　once　turned　away　her　firm；　sad　eyes。　Heaven；likewise；　had　frowned　upon　her；　and　she　had　not　died。　But　the　frown　ofthis　pale；　weak；　sinful；　and　sorrow…stricken　man　was　what　Hester　couldnot　bear；　and　live！　　〃Wilt　thou　yet　forgive　me？〃　she　repeated；　over　and　over　again。　〃Wiltthou　not　frown？　Wilt　thou　forgive？〃　　〃I　do　forgive　you；　Hester；〃　replied　the　minister；　at　length；　witha　deep　utterance；　out　of　an　abyss　of　sadness；　but　no　anger。　〃Ifreely　forgive　you　now。　May　God　forgive　us　both！　We　are　not；　Hester；the　worst　sinners　in　the　world。　There　is　one　worse　than　even　thepolluted　priest！　That　old　man's　revenge　has　been　blacker　than　mysin。　He　has　violated；　in　cold　blood；　the　sanctity　of　a　human　heart。Thou　and　I；　Hester；　never　did　so！〃　　〃Never；　never！〃　whispered　she。　〃What　we　did　had　a　consecration　ofits　own。　We　felt　it　so！　We　said　so　to　each　other！　Hast　thouforgotten　it？〃　　〃Hush；　Hester！〃　said　Arthur　Dimmesdale；　rising　from　the　ground。　〃No；I　have　not　forgotten！〃　　They　sat　down　again；　side　by　side；　and