I did my best； and the camera flashed。
〃Let me take one of you kids；〃 Charlie suggested。 I knew he was just trying to
shift the camera's focus
fromhimself。
Edward stood and lightly tossed him the camera。
I went to stand beside Edward； and the arrangement felt formal and strange to
me。 He put one hand
lightly on my shoulder； and I wrapped my arm more securely around his waist。 I
wanted to look at his
face； but I was afraid to。
〃Smile； Bella；〃 Charlie reminded me again。
I took a deep breath and smiled。 The flash blinded me。
〃Enough pictures for tonight；〃 Charlie said then； shoving the camera into a
crevice of the sofa cushions
and rolling over it。 〃You don't have to use the whole roll now。〃
Edward dropped his hand from my shoulder and twisted casually out of my arm。
He sat back down in
the armchair。
I hesitated； and then went to sit against the sofa again。 I was suddenly so
frightened that my hands were
shaking。 I pressed them into my stomach to hide them； put my chin on my knees
and stared at the TV
screen in front of me； seeing nothing。
When the show ended； I hadn't moved an inch。 Out of the corner of my eye； I
saw Edward stand。
〃I'd better get home；〃 he said。
Charlie didn't look up from the mercial。 〃See ya。〃
I got awkwardly to my feet—I was stiff from sitting so still—and followed
Edward out the front door。 He
went straight to his car。
〃Will you stay？〃 I asked； no hope in my voice。
I expected his answer； so it didn't hurt as much。
〃Not tonight。〃
I didn't ask for a reason。
He got in his car and drove away while I stood there； unmoving。 I barely
noticed that it was raining。 I
waited； without knowing what I waited for； until the door opened behind me。
〃Bella； what are you doing？〃 Charlie asked； surprised to see me standing there
alone and dripping。
〃Nothing。〃 I turned and trudged back to the house。
It was a long night； with little in the way of rest。
I got up as soon as there was a faint light outside my window。 I dressed for
school mechanically； waiting
for the clouds to brighten。 When I had eaten a bowl of cereal； I decided that
it was light enough for
pictures。 I took one of my truck； and then the front of the house。 I turned
and snapped a few of the forest
by Charlie's house。 Funny how it didn't seem sinister like it used to。 I
realized I would miss this—the
green； the timelessness； the mystery of the woods。 All of it。
I put the camera in my school bag before I left。 I tried to concentrate on my
new project rather than the
fact that Edward apparently hadn't gotten over things during the night。
Along with the fear； I was beginning to feel impatience。 How long could this
last？
It lasted through the morning。 He walked silently beside me； never seeming to
actually look at me。 I tried
to concentrate on my classes； but not even English could hold my attention。
Mr。 Berty had to repeat his
question about Lady Capulet twice before I realized he was talking to me。
Edward whispered the correct
answer under his breath and then went back to ignoring me。
At lunch； the silence continued。 I felt like I was going to start screaming at
any moment； so； to distract
myself； I leaned across the table's invisible line and spoke to Jessica。
〃Hey； Jess？〃
〃What's up； Bella？〃
〃Could you do me a favor？〃 I asked； reaching into my bag。 〃My mom wants me to
get some pictures of
my friends for a scrapbook。 So； take some pictures of everybody； okay？〃
I handed her the camera。
〃Sure；〃 she said； grinning； and turned to snap a candid shot of Mike with his
mouth full。
A predictable picture war ensued。 I watched them hand the camera around the
table； giggling and flirting
and plaining about being on film。 It seemed strangely childish。 Maybe I
just wasn't in the mood for
normal human behavior today。
〃Uh…oh；〃 Jessica said apologetically as she returned the camera。 〃I think we
used all your film。〃
〃That's okay。 I think I already got pictures of everything else I needed。〃
After school； Edward walked me back to the parking lot in silence。 I had to
work again； and for once； I
was glad。 Time with me obviously wasn't helping things。 Maybe time alone would
be better。
I dropped my film off at the Thriftway on my way to Newton's； and then picked
up the developed
pictures after work。 At home； I said a brief hi to Charlie； grabbed a granola
bar from the kitchen； and
hurried up to my room with the envelope of photographs tucked under my arm。
I sat in the middle of my bed and opened the envelope with wary curiosity。
Ridiculously； I still half
expected the first print to be a blank。
When I pulled it out； I gasped aloud。 Edward looked just as beautiful as he
did in real life； staring at me
out of the picture with the warm eyes I'd missed for the past few days。 It was
almost uncanny that anyone
could look so so beyond description。 No thousand words could equal this
picture。
I flipped through the rest of the stack quickly once； and then laid three of
them out on the bed side by
side。
The first was the picture of Edward in the kitchen； his warm eyes touched with
tolerant amusement。 The
second was Edward and Charlie； watching ESPN。 The difference in Edward's
expression was severe。
His eyes were careful here； reserved。 Still breathtakingly beautiful； but his
face was colder； more like a
sculpture； less alive。
The last was the picture of Edward and me standing awkwardly side by side。
Edward's face was the
same as the last； cold and statue…like。 But that wasn't the most troubling
part of this photograph。 The
contrast between the two of us was painful。 He looked like a god。 I looked
very average； even for a
human； almost shamefully plain。 I flipped the picture over with a feeling of
disgust。
Instead of doing my homework； I stayed up to put my pictures into the album。
With a ballpoint pen I
scrawled captions under all the pictures； the names and the dates。 I got to
the picture of Edward and me；
and； without looking at it too long； I folded it in half and stuck it under
the metal tab； Edward…side up。
When I was done； I stuffed the second set of prints in a fresh envelope and
penned a long thank…you
letter to Renee。
Edward still hadn't e over。 I didn't want to admit that he was the reason
I'd stayed up so late； but of
course he was。 I tried to remember the last time he'd stayed away like this；
without an excuse； a phone
call He never had。
Again； I didn't sleep well。
School followed the silent； frustrating； terrifying pattern of the last two
days。 I felt relief when I saw
Edward waiting for me in the parking lot； but it faded quickly。 He was no
different； unless maybe more
remote。
It was hard to even remember the reason for all this mess。 My birthday already
felt like the distant past。 If
only Alice would e back。 Soon。 Before this got any more out of hand。
But I couldn't count on that。 I decided that； if I couldn't talk to him today；
really talk； then I was going to
see Carlisle tomorrow。 I had to do something。
After school； Edward and I were going to talk it out； I promised myself。 I
wasn't accepting any excu