me in the back again。 I
knew I wasn't going to be able to fight my eyelids anymore； and I laid my head
against his chest in defeat；
letting them close。 I felt the car purr to life。
〃Edward；〃 Rosalie began。
〃I know。〃 Edward's brusque tone was not generous。
〃Bella？〃 Rosalie asked softly。
My eyelids fluttered open in shock。 It was the first time she'd ever spoken
directly to me。
〃Yes； Rosalie？〃 I asked； hesitant。
〃I'm so very sorry； Bella。 I feel wretched about every part of this； and so
grateful that you were brave
enough to go save my brother after what I did。 Please say you'll forgive me。〃
The words were awkward； stilted because of her embarrassment； but they seemed
sincere。
〃Of course； Rosalie；〃 I mumbled； grasping at any chance to make her hate me a
little less。 〃It's not your
fault at all。 I'm the one who jumped off the damn cliff。 Of course I forgive
you。〃
The words came out like mush。
〃It doesn't count until she's conscious； Rose；〃 Emmett chuckled。
〃I'm conscious；〃 I said； it just sounded like a garbled sigh。
〃Let her sleep；〃 Edward insisted； but his voice was a little warmer。
It was quiet then； except for the gentle thrum of the engine。 I must have
fallen asleep； because it seemed
like seconds later when the door opened and Edward was carrying me from the
car。 My eyes wouldn't
open。 At first I thought we were still at the airport。
And then I heard Charlie。
〃Bella！〃 he shouted from some distance。
〃Charlie；〃 I mumbled； trying to shake off the stupor。
〃Shh；〃 Edward whispered。 〃It's okay； you're home and safe。 Just sleep。〃
〃I can't believe you have the nerve to show your face here。〃 Charlie bellowed
at Edward； his voice much
closer now。
〃Stop it； Dad；〃 I groaned。 He didn't hear me。
〃What's wrong with her？〃 Charlie demanded。
〃She's just very tired； Charlie；〃 Edward assured him quietly。 〃Please let her
rest。〃
〃Don't tell me what to do！〃 Charlie yelled。 〃Give her to me。 Get your hands
off her！〃
Edward tried to pass me to Charlie； but I clung to him with locked； tenacious
fingers。 I could feel my dad
yanking on my arm。
〃Cut it out； Dad；〃 I said with more volume。 I managed to drag my lids back to
stare at Charlie with bleary
eyes。 〃Be mad at me。〃
We were in front of my house。 The front door was standing open。 The cloud
cover overhead was too
thick to guess at a time of day。
〃You bet I will be；〃 Charlie promised。 〃Get inside。〃 i'〃Kay。 Let me down；〃 I
sighed。
Edward set me on my feet。 I could see that I was upright； but I couldn't feel
my legs。 I trudged forward
anyway； until the sidewalk swirled up toward my face。 Edward's arms caught me
before I hit the
concrete。
〃Just let me get her upstairs；〃 Edward said。 〃Then I'll leave。〃
〃No；〃 I cried； panicking。 I hadn't got my answers yet。 He had to stay for at
least that much； didn't he？
〃I won't be far；〃 Edward promised； whispering so low in my ear that Charlie
didn't have a hope of
hearing。
I didn't hear Charlie answer； but Edward headed into the house。 My open eyes
only made it till the stairs。
The last thing I felt was Edward's cool hands prying my fingers loose from his
shirt。
23。 THE TRUTH
I HAD THE SENSE THAT I'D BEEN ASLEEP FOR A VERY long time—my body was stiff；
like I
hadn't moved once through all that time； either。 My mind was dazed and slow；
strange； colorful
dreams—dreams and nightmares—swirled dizzily around the inside of my head。
They were so vivid。 The
horrible and the heavenly； all mixed together into a bizarre jumble。 There was
sharp impatience and fear；
both part of that frustrating dream where your feet can't move fast enough
And there were plenty of
monsters； red…eyed fiends that were all the more ghastly for their genteel
civility。 The dream was still
strong—I could even remember the names。 But the strongest； clearest part of
the dream was not the
horror。 It was the angel that was most clear。
It was hard to let him go and wake up。 This dream did not want to be shoved
away into the vault of
dreams I refused to revisit。 I struggled with it as my mind became more alert；
focusing on reality。 I
couldn't remember what day of the week it was； but I was sure Jacob or school
or work or something
was waiting for me。 I inhaled deeply； wondering how to face another day。
Something cold touched my forehead with the softest pressure。
I squeezed my eyes more tightly shut。 I was still dreaming； it seemed； and it
felt abnormally real。 I was so
close to waking any second now； and it would be gone。
But I realized that it felt too real； too real to be good for me。 The stone
arms I imagined wrapped around
me were far too substantial。 If I let this go any further； I'd be sorry for it
later。 With a resigned sigh； I
wrenched back my eyelids to dispel the illusion。
〃Oh！〃 I gasped； and threw my fists over my eyes。
Well； clearly； I'd gone too far； it must have been a mistake to let my
imagination get so out of hand。
Okay； so 〃let〃 was the wrong word。 I'd forced it to get out of hand—pretty
much stalked my
hallucinations—and now my mind had snapped。
It took less than half a second for me to realize that； as long as I was truly
insane now； I might as well
enjoy the delusions while they were pleasant。
I opened my eyes again—and Edward was still there； his perfect face just
inches away from mine。
〃Did I frighten you？〃 His low voice was anxious。 This was very good； as
delusions went。 The face； the
voice； the scent； everything—it was so much better than drowning。 The
beautiful figment of my
imagination watched my changing expressions； with alarm。 His irises were
pitch…black； with bruise…like
shadows under them。 This surprised me； my hallucinatory Edwards were usually
better fed。
I blinked twice； desperately trying to remember the last thing that I was sure
was real。 Alice was part of
my dream； and I wondered if she had really e back at all； or if that was
just the preamble。 I thought
she'd returned the day I'd nearly drowned
〃Oh； crap〃 I croaked。 My throat was thick with sleeping。
〃What's wrong； Bella？〃
I frowned at him unhappily。 His face was even more anxious than before。
〃I'm dead； right？〃 I moaned。 〃I did drown。 Crap； crap； crap！ This is gonna
kill Charlie。〃
Edward frowned； too。 〃You're not dead。〃
〃Then why am I not waking up？〃 I challenged； raising my eyebrows。
〃You are awake； Bella。〃
I shook my head。 〃Sure； sure。 That's what you want me to think。 And then it
will be worse when I do
wake up。 If I wake up； which I won't； because I'm dead。 This is awful。 Poor
Charlie。 And Renee and
Jake〃 I trailed off in horror at what I had done。
〃I can see where you might confuse me with a nightmare。〃 His short…lived smile
was grim。 〃But I can't
imagine what you could have done to wind up in hell。 Did you mit many
murders while I was away？〃
I grimaced。 〃Obviously not。 If I was in hell； you wouldn't be with me。〃
He sighed。
My head was getting clearer。 My eyes flickered away from his face—unwillingly
—for one second； to the
dark； open window； and then back to him。 I started to remember details and I
felt a faint； unfamiliar