Also that girl from the Met to see when I can go over to make sure
everything is set up properly； and tell her to fax over the table
configurations so I may do seating charts。 That’s all for now。”
She had rattled off that list without a single pause in her note
writing； and when she finished speaking she handed me her newly
crafted note to mail。 I finished scribbling on my pad； hoping I’d
understood everything correctly； which； considering the accent and
the rapid…fire cadence； wasn’t always simple。
“OK；” I muttered and turned to go； bringing up my Total Miranda
Words to four。Maybe I won’t break fifty； I thought。 I could feel her
eyes examining the size of my butt as I walked back to my desk and
briefly considered whipping around to walk backward like a religious
Jew would do when leaving the Wailing Wall。 Instead； I tried to
glide toward the hidden safety of my desk while picturing thousands
and thousands ofHasidim in Prada black； walking backward circles
around Miranda Priestly。
12
The blissful day I’d been waiting for； dreaming of； had finally；
finally arrived。 Miranda had not only departed the office； but she’d
left the country as well。 She’d jumped into her Concorde seat less
than an hour before to meet with a few of the European designers；
making me at present the indisputably happiest girl on the planet。
Emily kept trying to convince me that Miranda was even more
demanding when she was abroad； but I wasn’t buying it。 I was in the
middle of mapping out exactly how I was going to spend every
ecstatic moment of the next two weeks when I got an e…mail from
Alex。
Hey babe； how are you？ Hope your day is at least ok。 You must be
loving that she left； right？ Enjoy it。 Anyway； just wanted to see if
you think you’ll be able to call me around three…thirty today。 I
have a free hour then before the reading program starts and I need
to talk to you。 Nothing major； but I would like to talk。 Love； A
To which I immediately worried and replied to ask if everything was
OK； but he must have logged off right away because he never wrote
back again。 I made a mental note to call him at exactly
three…thirty； loving the feeling of freedom that es from knowing
that She wouldn’t be around to screw it up。 But just in case； I
pulled a piece ofRunway stationery from the pile and wrote CALL A；
3：30 P。M。 TODAY and taped it to the side of my monitor。 Just as I
was going to call back a friend from school who’d left a message on
my Home machine a week earlier； the phone rang。
“Miranda Priestly’s office；” I all but sighed； figuring that there
wasn’t a single person on earth I wanted to speak with at that
moment。
“Emily？ Is that you？ Emily？” The unmistakable voice filled the phone
line and seemed to seep into the air in the office。 Even though she
couldn’t have possibly heard from across the suite； Emily looked up
at me。
“Hello； Miranda。 This is Andrea。 May I help you with something？” How
on earth was this woman calling？ I quickly checked the itinerary
that Emily had typed for everyone while Miranda was in Europe and
saw that her flight had taken off a mere six minutes before and she
was already calling from the seat phone。
“Well； I should hope so。 I’ve looked at my itinerary and I just
noticed that hair and makeup for Thursday before dinner is not
confirmed。”
“Um； well； Miranda； that’s because Monsieur Renaud wasn’t able to
get an absolute confirmation from the Thursday people； but he said
it was ninety…nine percent that they’d be able to and—”
“Ahn…dre…ah； answer me this： Is ninety…nine percent the same as a
hundred？ Is it the same asconfirmed ？” But before I could answer I
heard her tell someone； most likely a flight attendant； that she
wasn’t “particularly interested in the rules and regulations
regarding the use of electronics” and to “please bore someone else
with them。”
“But ma’am； it’s against the rules； and I’m going to have to ask
that you disconnect your call until we’ve reached a cruising
altitude。 It’s simply unsafe；” she said beseechingly。
“Ahn…dre…ah； can you hear me？ Are you listening 。 。 。”
“Ma’am； I’m going to have to insist。 Now please； hang up the phone。”
My mouth was starting to ache from smiling so widely—I could only
imagine how much Miranda was hating being addressed as “ma’am；”
which； as everyone knows； connotes old lady all the way。
“Ahn…dre…ah； thestewardess is forcing me to end this call。 I’ll call
you back when thestewardess allows me to do so。 In the meantime； I
want hair and makeup confirmed； and I’d like you to begin
interviewing new girls for the nanny position。 That’s all。” It
clicked off； but not before I heard the flight attendant call her
“ma’am” one last time。
“What did she want？” Emily asked； her forehead wrinkling in intense
worry。
“She called me the right name three times in a row；” I gloated；
happy to prolong her anticipation。 “Three times； do you believe it？
I think that means we’re best friends； doesn’t it？ Who would’ve
thought？ Andrea Sachs and Miranda Priestly； BFF。”
“Andrea； what did she say？”
“Well； she wants the Thursday hair and makeup confirmed because
clearly ninety…nine percent isn’t reassuring enough。 Oh； and she
said something about interviewing for a new nanny？ I must’ve
misunderstood that one。 Whatever—she’ll call back in thirty
seconds。”
Emily took a deep breath and willed herself to endure my stupidity
with grace and style。 It clearly wasn’t easy for her。 “No； I don’t
think you misunderstood at all。 Cara is no longer with Miranda； so
obviously she’ll be needing a new nanny。”
“What？ What do you mean no longer ‘with Miranda’？ If she’s no longer
‘with Miranda；’ then where the hell is she？” I found it really hard
to believe Cara wouldn’t have told me about her abrupt departure。
“Miranda thought Cara might be happier working for someone else；”
Emily said in what I’m sure was much more diplomatic phrasing than
Miranda herself had used。 As if Miranda had ever been attuned to
other people’s Happiness！
“Emily； please。 Please tell me what really happened。”
“I gathered from Caroline that Cara had grounded the girls in their
rooms after they talked back to her the other day。 Miranda didn’t
feel it was appropriate for Cara to be making these decisions。 And I
agree。 I mean； Cara is not these girls’ mother； you know？”
So Cara had gotten fired because she made two little girls sit in
their bedrooms after they’d surely given her attitude？ “Yeah； I see
your point。 It’s definitely not a nanny’s job to look out for the
well…being of her ch