woman and I don’t doubt that she’s making your life a living hell；
but I just can’t produce an article that doesn’t exist。 Do you
understand？” This had e finally from an associate who； even
though he worked onPage Six； had been assigned the task of finding
my article to shut me up。 He’d been patient and willing； but he’d
reached the end of his charity work。 Emily was on the other line
with one of their freelance food writers； and I’d forced James to
call one of his ex…boyfriends who worked in the advertising
department there to see if there was anything—anything—he could do。
It was already three o’clock the dayafter she’d requested something；
and this was the very first time I hadn’t gotten it immediately。
“Emily！” Miranda called from inside her deceptively bright office。
“Yes； Miranda？” we both answered； jumping up to see which one of us
she would motion to。
“Emily； I can hear that you just spoke to the people at thePost ？”
she said； directing her attention in my direction。 The real Emily
looked relieved and sat down。
“Yes； Miranda； I just hung up with them。 I’ve actually spoken to
three different people there and all of them insist that they
haven’t reviewed a single new Asian fusion restaurant in Manhattan
at any point in the last week。 Maybe it was before then？” I was now
tottering in front of her desk with my head bowed just enough so I
could stare at the black Jimmy Choo slingbacks with four…inch heels
that Jeffy had provided so smugly。
“Manhattan？” She looked confused and pissed off all at once。 “Who
said anything about Manhattan？”
It was my time to be confused。
“Ahn…dre…ah； I’ve told you at least five times now that the review
was written about a new restaurant inWashington 。 Since I’ll be
there next week； I need you to make a reservation。” She cocked her
head and moved her lips into what can only be described as a wicked
smile。 “What exactly about this project do you find so challenging？”
Washington？ Five times she’d told me the restaurant was inWashington
？ I don’t think so。 She was clearly losing her mind or just taking
sadistic pleasure in watching me lose mine。 But being the idiot she
took me for； I again spoke without thinking。
“Oh； Miranda； I’m fairly certain that theNew York Post doesn’t do
reviews of restaurants in Washington。 It appears they only actually
visit and review places new to New York。”
“Is that supposed to be funny； Ahn…dre…ah？ Is that your idea of
having a sense of humor？” Her smile had disappeared and she was
leaning forward in her seat； looking like a hungry vulture that was
impatiently circling its prey。
“Um no； Miranda； I just thought that—”
“Ahn…dre…ah； as I’ve made clear adozen times already； the review I’m
looking for is in theWashington Post 。 You’ve heard of that little
newspaper； right？ Just like New York has theNew York Times；
Washington； D。C。； has its own paper； too。 See how that works？” Her
voice was now beyond mocking： she was so incredibly patronizing that
she was only one step away from actually addressing me in baby talk。
“I’ll get it for you right away；” I stated as calmly as I could and
quietly walked out。
“Oh； and Ahn…dre…ah？” My heart lurched and my stomach wondered if it
could take another “surprise。” “I expect you to attend the party
tonight to greet the guests。 That’s all。”
I looked to Emily； who looked absolutely baffled； her crinkled
forehead making her appear as dumbfounded as I felt。 “Did I hear her
correctly？” I whispered to Emily； who could do nothing but nod and
motion for me to e to her side of the suite。
“I was afraid of this；” she whispered gravely； like a surgeon
telling a patient’s family member that they’d found something
horrible upon opening the chest cavity。
“She can’t be serious。 It’s four o’clock on Friday。 The party starts
at seven。 It’s black tie； for chrissake—there is no way on earth she
expects me to go。” I looked again at my watch in disbelief and tried
to remember her exact words。
“Oh； she’s quite serious；” she said； picking up the phone。 “I’ll
help you； OK？ You go find the review in theWashington Post and get
her a copy before she leaves—Uri is ing for her soon to take her
Home for her hair and makeup。 I’ll get you a dress and everything
else you need for tonight。 Don’t worry。 We’ll figure it out。” She
began rapid…fire dialing and whispering urgent…sounding instructions
into the phone。 I stood and stared； but she waved her hand without
looking up and I snapped back to reality。
“Go；” she whispered； looking at me with a rare hint of sympathy。 And
I went。
14
“You can’t show up in a cab；” Lily said to me as I jabbed helplessly
at my eyes with my brand…new Maybelline Great Lash mascara。 “This is
black…tie。 Call a car； for chrissake。” She watched for a minute more
and then grabbed the clumpy wand from my hand and tapped my eyelids
closed。
“I guess you’re right；” I sighed； still refusing to accept that my
Friday night was to be spent in a formal gown at the Met； greeting
wealthy…but…still…rednecks from Georgia and North and South Carolina
and plastering fake smile after fake smile on my poorly made…up
face。 The announcement had left me all of three hours to find a
dress； buy makeup； get ready； and revamp all my weekend plans； and
in the craziness of the situation； I’d forgotten to arrange
transportation。
Luckily； working at one of the biggest fashion magazines in the
country （the job a million girls would die for！） has its advantages；
and by 4：40P 。M。 I was the proud borrower of a knockout floor…length
black Oscar de la Renta number； provided kindly by Jeffy； Closet
maven and lover of all things feminine （“Girl； you go black…tie； you
go Oscar； and that’s that。 Now don’t be shy； take those pants off
and try this on for Jeffy。” I began to unbutton and he shuddered。 I
asked him if he really found my half…naked body that repulsive； and
he said of course not； it was merely my panty lines that he found so
disgusting）。 The fashion assistants had already called in a pair of
silver Manolos in my size； and someone in accessories had selected a
flashy silver Judith Leiber evening bag with a long； clanking chain。
I’d expressed interest in an understated Calvin Klein clutch； but
she snorted at the suggestion and handed me the Judith。 Stef was
debating whether I should wear a choker or a pendant； and Allison；
the newly promoted beauty editor； was on the phone with her
manicurist； who made office calls。
“She’ll meet you in the conference room at four forty…five；” Allison
said when I picked up my extension。 “Y